Turist Hotel

I’m a tourist from the UK and stayed here last summer. I’m sorry I forgot to write this review at the time. At reception, Maxim greeted us and spoke English. My friend and I felt truly welcome, and the hospitality Maxim showed us left me blown away. Maxim and the hotel gave us memories that’ll last a lifetime. We’ll always remember our Belarus trip because of him and his kindness. I’ll remember Babruisk and the Belarusian people, the excellent amenities, the room, and the amazing disco too. I highly recommend the hotel and am eternally grateful. Top notch. Thank you.

The food of the gods at the “Tourist” restaurant is apparently a bag of chips. On Saturday evening, they served them in such luxurious style that no other culinary masterpiece was even on offer. The waitress drifted through the dancing socialites in faux leather shorts and heart-throb suits, alongside elegant three-piece suits shimmering in color and equally elegant tracksuits with stripes. With a graceful flick, she opened the bag and scattered the chips onto a platter in intricate patterns. The display was apparently as intricate as the voluptuous squats of women writhing with desire near their own and other men’s suitors, dreaming of ballerina fame and the ability to do the splits. The entertainment was a small brawl among the distinguished audience over who would leave with one of the performers, who was dancing passionately to a song by either Krug or Leps. Anyone could join in. There was no duel with seconds, or epic bloodletting, unfortunately, but I’d still give the entertainment program a solid B. If you want a thorough understanding of the genitourinary system in humans and other mammals, just stand on the restaurant porch and listen to the nicotine-fueled elite’s casual intellectual conversations. I definitely recommend the “Tourist” restaurant.

The location is the main drawback. The hotel is way out on the edge of Bobruisk, almost on the Berezina, so the city center is quite a distance away. Still, there’s a fully equipped beach right behind the hotel, and anyone can swim there in summer. We were a family of three and stayed for two nights. The rooms were clean and well kept, with air conditioning and a full-size Atlant refrigerator. In the suite, though, the second room is so small that the fold-out sofa completely blocks it. The hallway lights only come on when someone walks through, which isn’t always convenient. Breakfast is included and served buffet-style, with a good variety. Lunch and dinner cost extra. Dinner didn’t impress me: the choice was very limited, basically one meal of pearl barley with breaded chicken steak, tomato-garlic salad, and compote. A decent place, 4/5.

I paid 20 rubles to have them play some music, and they turned it on, but it was just nonsense, like it wasn’t working. They still took the money. It was in the remix and Nyun That Song.