Finca La Tosca

It’s very quiet and the place is clean and nice, though the nearest town is a good 10-minute drive away. If you’re afraid of big dogs, you may want to avoid it. My partner is scared of them, but the owner agreed to keep them in the onsite kennels while we were there.

The house is well equipped if you want to cook, and there’s a super friendly dog. It was a little hard to find, but the place is absolutely lovely. You can pick fresh mangoes from a nearby tree and enjoy the amazing views of the ocean and garden ☺

The good parts: the sea view is gorgeous once you look past the garbage dumps, parking is right outside the door, the gas stove works, and the place is remote. Wi-Fi works too, unless the caretaker accidentally switches it off. Kitchen utensils are sparse and worn, though, and there’s basically nothing around, so bring water and food. Even if you arrive late at night, you must stop and get groceries first. There are flies, and when we raised the problem, the caretakers gave us poison spray. Bring an electric fly swatter or sticky strips. The two big, rough-looking dogs kill the rats, which is good but gross, but they also take and chew anything left outside. We lost shoes and food, and eventually gave up on eating or spending time outdoors. The dogs don’t catch the small brown mice, which come inside. We caught one in a bowl in the kitchen. Cute, but unbelievably fast. The dogs are always around, barking and running. Go outside at night, open a window, open a door, and suddenly there’s a big, playful dog. Not for kids. We had a toddler and a baby, and there aren’t any baby chairs. The pool seems to be for the dogs. The pump wasn’t running, the water had so much chlorine, and the dogs use it too. There’s dust everywhere, inside and out. The garden is a dust bowl, and the houses are dirty. Everything is old and worn, and the facilities are downright dangerous. We tried the oven, but some electrical parts started smoking and gave off a horrible plastic smell. The kitchen smells like rotten eggs, possibly because of the gas. The water is either boiling or sort of cold. Is it quiet? Compared with the Americas, yes. Compared with the mountains, no. The highway is close and audible all the time, especially where two sections cross a bridge and go gachunkachunk.

The photos look beautiful, but the finca was very bad in reality. We were attacked by flies, though that wasn’t the owner’s fault. Two large dogs are free to roam, eat with you, and sleep on your deck, which is especially welcome when you have children. The finca was dirty, with plastic, cigarettes, and paper on the floor. The owner, Ronald Bachinger, is a thief. When we arrived and saw how different the place was from the photos, I emailed him. He offered to let us leave and said he’d refund the money. We left straight away, leaving the apartment in the same condition as when we arrived, but Mr Bachinger never gave our money back. One word: run away!