Villa del Pi

We won’t be coming back. The house is okay and the neighborhood is quiet, though you can hear the motorcycle track next door when the bikes are running. Inside, there were too many problems. The sink broke and backed up completely, leaving us having to improvise to use the toilet. I won’t go into details. We called the 902 emergency number, which I don’t think is appropriate anymore, but no one answered all weekend and it only went to voicemail. The fridge needed four hours to get cold, so it’s a miracle our food didn’t spoil. The shower head was broken and water came out through the hose, spraying around so much that there was hardly enough left to rinse off. Before arriving, we’d called to ask about a butane canister for our paella burner, but there wasn’t one when we got there. The microwave’s labels had all rubbed off, so you had to guess whether it was heating, grilling, or defrosting. They insisted we leave by 10 on Sunday because other guests were supposedly arriving. By Monday nobody had come to check on us, so there clearly hadn’t been guests, and they still wouldn’t let us check out later. I hope they fix everything, because the house is a disaster.

The pool was clean, and the complex was quiet apart from the hours when the racetrack was open. That’s about all I can praise. The rest felt like a setup for a sequel to "This House Is a Ruin," complete with spirits. The shower heads leaked like the Titanic’s hull, and the bathroom windows were in worse shape than Chanquete’s boat. The fridge looked more worn out than the one at a campsite ice cream shop. On the first night, the toilet clogged and brought up what seemed like clay figures left by previous tenants. Nobody answered the 902 emergency number. They said there’d be butane canisters, but there weren’t any, which ruined our planned paella. Then they said we had to leave at 10 because someone else was coming, but that wasn’t true. The next day, they didn’t even come to check the house so they could return our deposit.

Most things were fine, but the water pressure was so weak it was barely a trickle. There was no hot water either, so we couldn’t shower.

It’s a beautiful, peaceful villa near the beaches. The patios are spacious and really cozy, and the barbecue and pool are great.