Medplaya Hotel Calypso

Just got back. If you’re after a dressed-up, sophisticated atmosphere with your husband or partner who appreciates nice clothes, this isn’t the place. The restaurant ceiling is very low, and it’s VERY VERY LOUD. The rooms have no soundproofing, either. There was smoking all over the place, near the children’s pools, playgrounds and bars, and even inside the lifts. Smoke from the smoking area filled the main bar through its enclosed door during entertainment. I complained to lifeguards and receptionists and even pointed out a smoker in the bar, but nothing was done. We had to change rooms because of the noise. The all-inclusive deal was disappointing, especially the snack bar. The children’s pool was closed, and the water in the adult pool was dangerously deep for kids using the slides. We wanted to see the shows, but rowdy groups filled the stage area and made it hard to get seats. The shows weren’t great, apart from the Michael Jackson tribute. The Halloween show was strange, with songs like “Sex Bomb” by Tom Jones, hardly suitable for children. The crowd was surprising, with so many groups of teenage students and sportsmen and women in one place. The students and teenagers were generally well behaved, I’ll give them that. It felt more like an upgraded hostel for students and teenagers than a hotel. If I’d been travelling alone, I’d have cut my holiday short. The bathroom was pleasant enough, and the staff were nice. The food was okay, you get what you pay for. The rooms and shared areas smelled horrible. And if you’re a Jeremy kyle show fan, you’ll fit right in with the crowd!

Reception was a bright spot, especially Raul, who was very accommodating. The location is good, the rooms are a decent size, and the food was good, though sometimes barely warm. Having a microwave helped. But we won't be back. Pigeons take over the pool and snack bar all day, and with guests leaving food around, there's pigeon poo everywhere. I even saw people rinsing it off their towels in the pool. Bar staff were particularly unfriendly and would disappear near last orders for all-inclusive guests. You can hear conversations through the walls, and doors bang constantly from 6am until 1 or 2am. Morning hot drinks mean a long wait because the machines are slow and there aren't enough. At least you can usually find a sun lounger, if you don't mind sharing the area with pigeons. It could work for a budget family holiday, but not for us.

We skipped the pools and went to the beach instead. The room was spotless, with fresh towels every day, and the maids kept everything neat. I even saw them cleaning the shower's glass wall with active foam after we came back from the beach. The furniture looks new but seems chosen on a tight budget. One bed had a bedside table, while the other was next to the room table. Food was fine, though nothing stood out. Check-in was easy, and Patricia greeted us in a professional, welcoming way. The hotel consists of two large buildings joined by a covered walkway, with reception in the curved main building and the other building shaped like an L. We were all-inclusive. The safe cost 4.5 Euros per day, plus a 20 Euros deposit. The green cards for getting hard plastic cups at the bars felt odd. Plastic cups by the pool would have been understandable, but having every drink in plastic at the indoor bars too, apart from the restaurant, was unpleasant. I've never seen that in a hotel before. Fabian, one of the bartenders, also had a strange, unfriendly manner.

The evening entertainment was impressive, and the hotel itself felt modern and was in a great spot. It's about a 5 minute walk to shops and restaurants, and 10-15 minutes to the beach. If I came back, I'd choose self-catering. We stayed half-board, but meals were stressful: the selection was repetitive and limited, and some guests pushed in front of the queue for the coffee machine. The rooms were very clean, the beds comfortable, and the bathroom had a lovely, very large shower. We didn't mind that there was no bath, though the room was a little small. Staff were friendly, and the pool areas were nice, with a good play area for children. The main annoyance was people claiming sunbeds before 8am and then not showing up to use them until at least 1pm.