Relais de Vergy

The house itself is very beautiful, and breakfast was excellent. The sauna was nice too, though the floor mats were dirty and the bathrobes smelled of tobacco. The room we were given was only somewhat clean: we had to wash the glasses, and it clearly hadn't been vacuumed. The young dog wasn't aggressive, but jumped up and swatted my chest, then later my testicles. The owner's sarcastic response was to ask if she should call a doctor. At check-in we learned that our booked room wasn't available because of a toilet leak. The replacement had no bathtub, despite that being part of our agreement. When she saw we were disappointed, she sarcastically asked if we'd come all that way just to bathe. I explained that we don't have a bathtub at home and this detail mattered to us. I asked for some goodwill gesture, but she refused, saying Dakota Box left her very little profit.

The Smartbox Gourmet Weekend Getaway and Spa package cost €190, but our stay didn't feel worth that amount. We arrived earlier this week for one night, and the host had completely forgotten we were coming. We got only a brief welcome, and although the room was adequate, it was cold. We were never offered access to the spa. The meal was much too salty, the tableware wasn't clean, and there were no street signs pointing to the hotel. It was a disaster.

The property looked charming from outside, but once inside the house, cigarette smoke clung to the walls and furniture. The woman who greeted us smelled strongly of alcohol and cigarettes. Our room had no keys or TV remote, supposedly because previous guests had taken them. Although the sauna was included in our package, the owner discouraged us from using it, saying it needed only 4 minutes to heat. The pool was similar, and we had to uncover it ourselves at 6 pm, in weather over 30 degrees Celsius. Breakfast was poor too: low-quality tea and coffee, generic orange juice, tasteless ready-baked bread and pastries, overripe fruit, unappealing jam and honey, and dishes that were only half clean. We were later asked to pay an extra €20 because it was high season, despite being the only guests in the three available rooms. We hadn't received the email about the charge, and after 10 minutes we finally convinced the owner we wouldn't pay. The night was miserable. The attic was stifling and had no ventilation, the bedding was too firm for us and left us both with back pain, and the dog woke us barking at 7 a.m. The building itself had first charmed us, but that didn't last. We left saddened by the experience and can't recommend the hotel.

The building has been restored well, the description was accurate, and the location is quiet. But the grounds weren't maintained, and the sun loungers stayed dirty the whole time, including the broken ones. The rooms were shockingly unclean: dust, toilet stains, dirty toilets and brushes, crackers on the floor, hair in the bathroom, trash left by previous guests, stained and torn sheets, greasy refrigerator doors, and stained shower curtains. There may have been more we missed. The ground floor smelled so bad of smoke that non-smokers should avoid the place, though a door at the first floor helped keep some of it out of the rooms. Breakfast was awful. The jam had fermented, the honey jar hadn't been changed and had fly droppings around its crystallized rim, and the brioche was stale for several days running. The dinner tablecloth stayed stained for three days, and there was stewed fruit salad, dirty dishes with glasses you had to search through to find one to drink from, and just one small croissant per person. The shared dinner isn't worth €30 per person either. The owner was probably doing her best, but the meal included a badly made poached egg in red wine sauce, a questionable beef stew, and a slice of Viennetta cheese. It's hard to understand how things were allowed to get this bad while guests were still being welcomed. The owner should take a hard look at herself before something bad happens.