Le Mama Colmar

We couldn't get out of there fast enough the next morning. Nobody slept, and this was the worst place I've ever paid to stay in. The whole experience felt like a bad joke: cramped, dirty, uncomfortable, and unsafe. There were no fire alarms anywhere. The listing calls Secret Mama in Colmar a two-bedroom apartment, but the second sleeping spot is a mattress on a dirty floor in the attic. You have to climb an actual ladder and crawl on your hands and knees to reach it. You can't stand up there, and getting dressed means sitting on the mattress. My pants were covered in dust and dirt after crawling over. At night, getting to the toilet means climbing and crawling back down in the dark. Getting into the place is a struggle too: a narrow, rickety, winding stairwell up three floors to what is really converted attic space. You'll need to be fit enough to haul your bags. The ceilings are so low that anyone over four feet tall may feel claustrophobic. The beds had uncomfortable sofa-style throw pillows, and there weren't enough of them for a decent night's sleep. The washer and dryer were both full of someone else's laundry, as far as I could tell. There's no shower door or curtain, so nobody in our party even tried to shower. The table's four folding chairs weren't comfortable either, so there wasn't really anywhere to relax in the apartment.