Dog and Partridge Inn

Would I stay again? Yes. Would I pick Room 8? Only if I fancied live entertainment. That night was unforgettable, literally. I was staying in Room 8 at The Dog and Partridge in Calne. The pub itself was nice, the atmosphere friendly, and the bed comfortable. No complaints about any of that. But at 3:30am, I packed up and left, feeling like I’d been caught in a small but enthusiastic earthquake. The cause was next door in Room 7. The couple there were extremely loud, with the walls carrying every cry and their emphatic commentary. Their headboard kept banging against the wall so hard I briefly wondered whether to applaud, yell “bravo,” ask for a programme, or ring reception to see if refreshments were available for the audience. It felt like an extended director’s cut with bonus scenes. I finally gave up and fled Calne. Room 7 has phenomenal acoustics, and Room 8 gives you front-row seats. Light sleepers might want earplugs, noise-cancelling headphones, or a will to live.

The setting is very pleasant and the staff were friendly. It’s a large pub just off the island or ring road, with a gravelled car park and accommodation in a separate block behind it. Our room was comfortable, with a large bed and tea-making facilities. Dinner is available from 6 to 8pm. There aren’t any starters on the menu, and vegetarian options aren’t listed, but they do have some if you ask. We’d certainly return.

If you’re after a quick, budget meal with no frills, this place will do. The food was basic, like a school dinner, and arrived warm rather than hot. It didn’t look especially appetising, though it tasted OK. The unusual setup is a big open dining area in the middle of a shopping centre, with several precooked meals to choose from. You pay before going to the right serving station to collect or dish up your meal buffet-style. It was the strangest restaurant I’ve eaten in for a long time. If you want a classic French restaurant, keep going.

I was only here overnight in a room, so I can’t comment on the food or drinks. The room was comfortable, and there was a kebab van parked in the car park.