Northop Hall Country House Hotel

There’s a lot of promise here. The long, tree-lined drive gets you excited, and the building has those grand, Bridgerton-style vibes, but inside the sweeping staircase is lined with grubby carpet. The one staff member on duty was very friendly, though it’s clear the owners aren’t putting money into upkeep or service quality. Breakfast was mostly inedible. The sausages seemed like the cardboardy frozen kind, and the tomato was somehow burnt and rock solid. Despite having a menu, the only choices were a full English or a smaller full English. The continental spread had no plates, just some toast and empty cereal containers. The site and building have huge potential, but they’re being let down. The only real plus was that it’s dog friendly and nearby.

I booked for a week on my own, but left after one night because I felt so unsafe. The hotel is enormous, nearly empty, and isolated. Doors and windows were left open, including the fire door and all the ground-floor windows, and there seemed to be no security. There was a bucket under the hallway ceiling where half of it had already fallen in. It reminded me of The Shining. Getting there was worrying from the start. The dark road up to the hotel was full of potholes. The lovely grounds were neglected, the ashtray was overflowing, and the car park was scattered with beer cans and bottles despite having no other cars in it. At reception, the woman seemed like she couldn’t be bothered checking me in. She took me through a fire exit that was swinging open, left me at my room, and said nothing like enjoy your stay or take care. I went back to the car for my things, then called my daughter and her husband to come stay with me for a night. I was out the next day. When I told them at checkout that I was leaving, they didn’t ask if anything was wrong and seemed not to care. The staff gave me the impression that my safety didn’t matter either. I’ve never written a review before, but I was concerned enough to warn people. I emailed the hotel and got no reply.

I explained that I needed somewhere to eat and to charge my car, and asked to cancel. They said I could cancel, but I wouldn’t get any money back. I just couldn’t make myself stay, so I treated the £88 as a life lesson. There was no food or drink available and nowhere to charge the car. I’d wanted a change from the big chains. I wish I hadn’t bothered. The building was a dirty, dilapidated beige monstrosity, with a cramped reception desk tucked under the stairs. It felt less like a country house hotel and more like a crack den. The welcome was about as warm as Norman Bates running the place. As I was leaving, a woman came in dressed very inappropriately for a January night. Then I saw her minicab pull into a lay-by outside and the penny dropped. More crack den than country house hotel. Booking dot com really shouldn’t be associated with this awful place.

I stayed 10 days for work. The website looks great, but don’t be fooled. I wish I’d checked the Trustpilot reviews. The chef was very friendly and breakfast was decent, which was about all I liked. It was cheap, and I can see why. I wouldn’t stay here for work or socially again. I booked a suite, but it was a room with a separate area that seemed more like somewhere to hang coats. You couldn’t stand there and raise your arms, though apparently it counted as a second room. The rooms were tired, with worn, stained carpets, and the bathroom badly needed refurbishing. I got no service at all for 10 days and had to ask reception for fresh towels. After I complained, they changed the sheets once, on day 5. On checkout day, cleaning staff showed up at 10 and asked me to leave even though checkout was at 11. There’s no bar or restaurant, and the staff don’t know the area. The Wi-Fi kept turning on and off, and the walls are so thin I could hear people talking in the next room and walking around. There was no carpet on the main stairs, and the upstairs carpets looked like someone had dragged muddy corpses over them. There weren’t any guests staying, but a lot of scruffy people were hanging around the back. I suspect they were migrants, though a staff member told me they were on a long-term contract. I suspect that was a way of getting around local objections to the application to accept migrants.