Mercure Dartford Brands Hatch Hotel & Spa

I liked the quiet upstairs gym, and the treatment rooms were opposite it. I had a one-hour deep tissue massage, but the masseuse had an injury and couldn't go as deep as I usually prefer. She was very friendly and pleasant, though. For our spa day, we arrived at 11am, got robes and towels at reception, entered my number plate and selected eight hours of complimentary parking. Afternoon tea was booked for 1pm and my massage for 4pm. We had coffee in reception before leaving around 6pm. The tea was okay. We should have asked for brown bread, which we both prefer, and the sandwich fillings weren't that nice. The cakes were better, but the scones with clotted cream and nice jam were the best. The pool is small and an awkward shape for swimming lengths, about 10 to 15 metres at its longest point. As this is a gym, regular members use the facilities too. The dry sauna and steam room were nice and hot, while the four-person-max Jaquzzi was quite busy. It was an okay day. If I lived closer, I think I'd join for £60 a month, given the facilities and price.

We booked an overnight spa break through SpaSeekers for our 12th wedding anniversary. The room was comfortable and nice, and dinner from the Indian menu was tasty, although service was a little slow. Breakfast was included too. The spa was crowded, especially the pool, which had lots of young families. That took away from the quiet, relaxing feel we wanted for the occasion. The sauna and steam room were small and busy as well. We each had a 25-minute treatment, a foot scrub for him and a body scrub for me. They were enjoyable, but I had really hoped the package would include a full body massage, which was what I felt I needed. The stay was okay, though it would have meant a lot if the hotel had acknowledged our anniversary and made us feel a bit more special.

The room stayed warm throughout our visit, and Sam decorated it for us when we asked. The bed was big and comfortable, and the pool area was clean. Both times we went, it wasn't crowded. It was a great stay and better than I expected, especially for the Groupon deal. The only letdown was the food at the racing bar. My Greek salad took a while and came without olives, with leaves that weren't mentioned in the description. They kindly took it back, and I was able to choose something else instead.

The customer service was impeccable. The receptionist was attentive and friendly, and offered me a complimentary mince pie, mulled wine and a ticket for a free drink. Housekeeping worked really hard and quickly, and the rooms are gorgeous. The atmosphere was calming, and the Wi-Fi was sensational, with no connection trouble even when I had my tablet and phone online together. Getting here by public transport is awkward, since the bus from the station comes only every 1-1.5 hours. I booked three nights for £138, checking in on a Sunday, which was a very good price. The food wasn't bad, but I wish the menu had a chicken burger and more complete meals with a main and a side. The fishfinger wrap was nice and probably the only meal that felt cost effective.