Hotel Villa Marina

It's a little retro, but the location makes it worthwhile. The coast below is gorgeous, with that blue sea giving you shivers.

This is on Augusta's outskirts among private villas, with no nearby bars. There are just two discount shops about a kilometer away. The building was a condominium before being turned into a hotel, and it feels more suited to sleeping than to a holiday. Rooms and service are only just adequate. The seafront rooms have a good view, though reaching the sea means going down a very steep road to a cliff. You can drive down too.

The hotel is still open, but the pizzeria and ice cream shop, the property's main draw, have yet to fully reopen. Those three stars are for the fantastic panoramic setting.

The pizzeria was the ugliest place around Augusta. During dinner the staff were laughing loudly and chasing each other around like they were at an amusement park. Then there was the bill: three pizzas at 4, 6, and 6.50, a €5 Coke, and €2 water, but I was charged €38. They even charged a cover for my four-month-old in his stroller. Where I'm from, we have a saying: “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, you'll take this hit, but you won't take it any further”!