Bleu Village

The room toilets smelled like rotten eggs and farts, the Wi-Fi was poor, and the food was gross. My three-year-old had an allergic reaction to the restaurant food, and a man there screamed at my toddler with celiac disease. When I asked if the tap water was safe to drink, he just shrugged and said maybe. The beds were dirty and dusty, and the bunk beds weren't secured when we arrived. Staff replaced one after we reported it, but it still rocked whenever anyone moved on the top bunk. I worried it could collapse while we slept. From the lower bunk, I also saw smears that looked suspiciously like human feces. The only good parts were leaving and the social experience of wondering whether a bunk bed might crush me and my small children. I hope these memories feel funny someday, but right now they really don't. I was not impressed, and would give this place zero stars if I could.

The views are lovely, and it's an amazing place if you're fit enough to climb up to them. Getting food felt like a vertical marathon, though, and there are far too many stairs. The cabins feel flimsy, like a limp sausage, and I got an electric shock while plugging something in because the sockets didn't seem safe. I lost 3 kg because there wasn't enough food. Still, I'd definitely recommend visiting 👍👌

There are cats and mosquitoes, cold showers, and very little privacy. Cheap booze from the mini market helps pull the place together, and the free attic junkyard even came with a complimentary pair of mystery underwear in the closet. It gave me a great insight into German culture and helped me consider becoming vegetarian. If you're training for conscription or hoping to lose weight against your will, this is ideal. Wheelchair users get a built-in challenge mode, and people who hate digitalization can enjoy the 19th-century charm. When it all gets too much, the ocean is right there for an impromptu dive. Best blackout I've ever had, or at least the half I remember.

The staff made this trip work. Reception were exceptionally helpful, and the restaurant manager couldn't have done more for us. The food was lovely: a full continental breakfast, good packed lunches, and yummy pasta for dinner with a main and fruit dessert. Cold vegetables with warm meat was a bit odd, but when in Rome. The rooms were clean, and the students loved having their own bungalows and the freedom to move around the site in the evenings. I'd absolutely ask to stay here again with my group of 40 Y11-13 students in Naples. We wanted basic lodging and scran, and that's what we got in an amazing location. The place is built on the side of a mountain, so of course there are steps. I even came away a little fitter, with a toned rear three-quarter view. Sensitive stomachs should avoid drinking the bungalow tap water or a vom fest may follow, especially if you drink loads. It's the same at many places round there, and bottled water is easy to get. We arrived feeling wary after reading reviews, but Bleu Village did exactly what it sets out to do. Some complaints make me wonder what people expected from a Torquay hotel bedroom window.