Hotel Mazowiecki

If you can’t hear or smell anything, this might be a great stay. The people working here were actually super nice and helpful. The building, though, felt like a dingy old time capsule, with a wet-basement and bad-decisions kind of smell. Want a scary-looking backdrop for Instagram? This is it. I took a video at 2 AM, and the noise sounded like the club was inside my pillow. If you’re deaf, have a cold so you can’t smell, and just want Poland’s cheapest bed, this is your kingdom. Anyone else should wear a hazmat suit.

Bring earplugs. The disco next door stays loud through the night, and people are talking late too. I stayed for three days, and the mattress was really comfortable. The rooms were clean, and the shared toilets and bathrooms stayed clean and in good shape the whole time, with no waiting. They also have luggage storage.

The location is good, and the rooms are spacious. There are small shops right beside the hotel, plus a House of culture, shopping centers, and a public transport stop. There are two bathrooms per floor, but they weren’t fully stocked, with no toilet paper in either one. The rooms also weren’t ready by the stated arrival time. Still, the problems were sorted out fairly quickly, if you could find an English-speaking staff member.

A lovely hotel if you want your money stolen from your room. The receptionists are amazing at covering it up. If you want to be left with nothing, this is the place.