Lipda Resort

That 2:30 AM phone call from the room, for no reason, jolted me awake and left me anxious. I was already counting the minutes until I could go home. We paid over $200 a night, more than 7,500 baht, for two nights in the “best room,” and the value was the worst I’ve ever experienced. I wouldn’t book any room there, cheap or expensive. The room itself was grim: a damp, pigeon-dropping smell as soon as we walked in, and an abandoned, run-down feel. Pigeons had nested over the doors, leaving droppings on the walls, floor, and even in the pool. There was mold in the fridge, torn curtains, brownish-red stains in the closet that looked like blood, and dead and live insects on the floor. The two rooms were windowless concrete boxes, like prison cells. I’m not exaggerating. The shower swung between freezing and scalding, with barely any pressure. Breakfast came with the room and there was plenty of it, but the juices were industrial and too sweet, the instant coffee was weak, the watermelon tasted of onions as if cut with the same knife, and the butter was completely melted, probably left unrefrigerated for hours. The waffle was very good, though. For that price, I expected much better service. I was the only guest and had told them my breakfast time in advance. They knew I’d be at the restaurant at 9:30, yet the gardener started mowing right outside with a loud machine exactly then. If I’d had the choice, I would have left after two minutes to find another hotel.