Lomond Hills Hotel

The bed was one of the most comfortable we’ve slept in, and breakfast was perfect. We also got to enjoy the pool and sauna, which made the stay even better. But the welcome at reception was what really stood out. The girl there seemed to be everywhere, moving between the desk and bar and handling it all so professionally. She even pointed us towards a local place we hadn’t known about, which made our trip feel extra special. We had a fantastic stay.

Breakfast was laughable. There were no staff, plates, or glasses, so we gathered what we could from dry food left under lamps for who knows how long. The continental options looked close to their use by dates, and some yoghurts had burst open in a bowl of ice. Nothing was labelled, which would make dealing with an allergy or intolerance a real problem. On the way out we heard someone in the kitchen say, “everyone seems so unhappy but I really can’t blame them”. There was nobody around for checkout. The room was freezing when we arrived. The radiator was off and the windows were wide open in subzero Scottish weather, though we found a portable heater in the wardrobe and got some warmth going. There was a hole in the wall where the door handle had hit before, and the mirrors and walls were filthy, maybe from children or dogs. The shower seemed to run on a timer, the temperature kept changing, and the hot water ran out quickly. Even a basic wash was a challenge. At least the kettle was decent. The bed was comfortable enough, but the curtains let in lots of light, so by 8am the room was bright, and streetlights meant it never got fully dark. The walls are thin and there was plenty of noise from people walking about overnight. Food options were limited to a snack menu and a dinner menu that were basically the same, and neither seemed worth the price. There wasn’t much nearby to eat or do, so we spent the afternoon looking around Glenrothes for food. We didn’t manage to try the spa, but the place had more of a village pub feel than somewhere that put you in a spa mood. Other guests also seemed unimpressed with the facilities. Check-in took an uncomfortably long time. Staff who looked terrified kept going back and forth and apologising, although the actual process was fairly simple. The only person who seemed able to use the computer struggled to find any guests in the system. The key code itself worked very efficiently. The fire safety arrangements need thought too. There seemed to be just one alarm switch for the whole building, and the system felt thrown together. This was an eventful day, to put it mildly. We won’t return. With the hotel so far from anything, it needs to give people a reason to come back. This one gives us a reason to stay away.

For the price, this worked well as a base for us, and yes, we’d stay again. It’s a bit tired, but we got a great last minute deal. There’s plenty of parking at the back, though the coffee machine at breakfast only gave hot water, so we had to make our own coffee. The buffet had cooked food and cereals. We checked out the pool and gym but didn’t use either; the gym looked well equipped. Our room was small but clean, with a large bed and smart TV, tea and coffee facilities, a modern clean bathroom, a safe, and complimentary water. I missed having a wardrobe or even wall hooks for clothes and luggage, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. The hotel was easy to find and suited us.

The staff were welcoming, cheerful, and incredibly helpful. Breakfast was good too, especially the delicious scrambled eggs, hash browns, and croissants. Our room had been cleaned to a high standard. Still, we wouldn’t come back. The room was probably one of the smallest ever, and the huge king size bed filled nearly all of it. There was nowhere to hang clothes, no place to sit, and no remote for the TV, so we had to borrow one from a staff member’s room. The walk in shower was lovely, but the bathroom was only a step from the bed, with a sliding door that caught and stuck. Privacy was awkward if one of us needed the toilet while the other sat on the bed, and the bathroom smelled a bit like drains. The car park was full, although there’s free public parking across the road. We found the pool warm but tiny. After 20 minutes we left because a young boy kept throwing the aqua aerobics dumbbells across it. That wasn’t the hotel’s fault, but his parents’ responsibility. The jacuzzi was out of order, the changing room could’ve been cleaner, and I was disappointed there was no spinner for my swimsuit. They did provide towels. Noise from the bar carried on late, so I’d ask whether there’s a function on before booking. Breakfast was in a dark, cold function room with furniture piled against one wall. The residents’ bar was odd, with few tables and a cake stand in the middle, while the public bar next door was full of worse for wear locals swearing at each other and slamming the door. We live in Aberdeen and usually plan a winter weekend away on 1st Jan, while we’re recovering from the festive period, to give ourselves something to look forward to through Jan/Feb as we wait for Spring. It’s a chance to enjoy somewhere close by, and this year we picked Fife. I’m from the county, so it felt like a homecoming, and St.Andrews was on my list. But our dates fell on 14th Feb because of other commitments, and St. Andrews was way beyond my budget. Then I found this place when I widened the search. Freuchie is a charming village, close to Falkland where my chum lives, and near Markinch, home to my favourite pub restaurant. The price and promise of a pool seemed like a lucky find. There’s a saying that you get what you pay for, but if I’d been on 'Four In A Bed', this place wouldn’t have been worth what we were charged. I understand it was recently taken over after a period of closure. I hope they work out what role they want the hotel to play in its community and for visitors. It’s tired and dated, it isn’t suitable for anyone with mobility issues, and if you’re attending an event and need space to get ready, make sure to book a larger room. Ours would’ve been stressful. I wish the staff well, but this was our first and last visit, and quite an experience.