Value Inn

Room 122 at The Value Inn in Fallon, Nevada was a once-in-a-lifetime stay, and not in a good way. For $100, I got a zero-star experience at a price that belongs to a three-star hotel. If you've ever wanted to feel like you're in a Steven King movie, this place might exceed your lowest expectations. It has the feel of a 1970s time capsule, with a cigarette, dirt, and regret smell, nicotine-filter beige walls, and a pay-by-the-hour atmosphere. The room gave me Silent Hill vibes. Whenever the volunteer fire department is called, an air-raid siren blasts across the street for about five minutes. Since the hotel is near the Air Force base, you can pretend a nuclear strike is coming. That's free family entertainment the front desk employee forgot to mention. The bathroom floor was shattered and covered in some kind of spackle, as if something heavy had dropped there. The curtains had mysterious holes that looked like acid splashes, and showed them off at night. Stains on the carpet invite you to play Cloud Shapes from the bed, if you dare. The pillows were so thin I started thinking of them as the Ozempic Pillow. The mini-fridge leaked, and there was no coffee, drinking water, or vending machine, so you won't feel like snacking. The bedding had mystery stains that call for biohazard-proof pajamas. I'd keep my socks on. The place seems to discourage bathing: the water was earthy brown, there was no shampoo, the hand soap was wafer thin, and the towels seemed sized for a very small, very brave toddler. There was no Kleenex either, so try not to sneeze. On the bright side, plenty of places to eat are within walking distance, which helps you spend time outside the room. Come for the bed, stay because you're too traumatized to drive.