Alpine Crest - The Resort Club of Helen

Study the map before you arrive: there's only one way in and out. The on-call staff member was helpful when I called. WiFi worked well, and there were free TV channels, a phone book, and a landline. The kitchen had all the pots, pans, and dishes, plus soap samples and dish detergent; laundry included one complimentary wash. There were plenty of towels, though they were only changed on Mondays through the self-service setup. Our loft had clearly had a tub overflow, and it needs updating. There’s no pool, the walls are thin, there are lots of steps, and parking is a tight space for one car per unit. The bedroom had thin twin mattresses. At least, no bed bugs.

The host was incredibly nice, but the room cleanliness was a serious problem. There were bugs everywhere and dirty dishes, and I wouldn’t turn on the tub jets. Check-in is held until 4 pm for “cleaning,” while guests have to pretty much clean the whole place before leaving at 10 am. I’m not sure what takes so long. Staff rarely answer the phone. They said the pool was closed because it was filled with water, but when we walked over, it was completely full. There wasn’t anything for the kids to do.

There’s a handy path into town that comes out behind Paul's Margarita Deck. Staff were super friendly and helped us move rooms after we found bed bugs. The whole “resort” feels run down: the spa wasn’t heated, the indoor pool water felt grimy, the sauna was like a tiny closet, and the outdoor pool and slides looked unused for years. The rooms also aren’t insulated well. We could smell other rooms cooking or “partaking.”

We cut our vacation short because the rooms were so poor. They’re cheapish for the area, but be warned, staying here could ruin your trip. The room was extremely dated, the bed was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever slept in, and there were roaches.