The Arch Convention Hotel

This hotel felt broken, and the owners and management must know about the problems. Check-in was a nightmare. There’s no hotel parking, and the only suggestion was to park on the street, which is illegal in much of the surrounding area. The process was basically to park illegally, carry your bags inside, then find a garage miles away and walk. My first keys didn’t work. Once that was sorted, I found the room thermostat at 96 degrees. I called the desk, and the manager said she’d contact someone over the radio. I waited about half an hour, went into town, and returned a few hours later to find it at 97. I called again and was told I had it set to heat and it would take a while to cool down. That wasn’t true. It was set to cold, but the vents were blowing hot air. I asked to move rooms and was told the hotel was full. After about four hours, I’d had enough and went to the lobby to make a scene. I didn’t want to, but by then I felt trapped in a scam, nearly five hours into the ordeal with a room approaching 98 degrees. I showed the thermostat photo to other guests in line, and it turned into a small scene because others already knew about the temperature issue. Finally they gave me keys to another room. The manager told me to try it, so I had to go check whether it was cool myself. While searching online during this, I saw many complaints about room temperature. They know there’s a problem. When the employee blamed the heat setting, I believe she was lying, probably using a delay tactic because she’d given up. The next morning, I walked the floors and stairs for exercise and saw at least six rooms with doors propped open and fans drying wet floors. I didn’t have flooding, but who wants to stay in a hotel with flooded toilets? The pool looked like green milk, and I couldn’t believe kids were swimming in it. Both my room doors barely shut. The bathtub enamel had cracks and chips, and there was lots of hair in the tub and bathroom. Under the chair were old French fries and a sippy cup. The fries looked several days old. Such a bad stay. It felt like the hotel had gone out of business and random people had moved in to rent rooms. After all that trouble, nobody offered compensation, not even a bottle of water.

Angel checked me in, and she was engaging, cheerful, and efficient. The lobby looked pretty nice, closer to Waldorf than Days Inn, though there were lots of tourists around dealing with their kids, other people’s kids, and that family member or friend who keeps whining when everyone just wants to eat. Getting into the room was a workout. My key worked, but the door felt locked, so I tried again with more force. It still seemed like someone was holding it shut from the other side. I heard no one, swiped again, and shoved it with the force of a SWAT team battering ram until it slowly opened. The rubber along the bottom dragged on the floor, and shutting it took about the same effort. I laughed while locking it, thinking nobody would get through that door anyway. I’d rented a king suite because it cost little more than a standard room. It was spacious, with lots of windows, though my particular view was boring. I liked all the sunlight. The 55-inch Samsung TV remote took me about 15 minutes to figure out; I’m a little technologically challenged, and that device could probably control the International Space Station. Once I got it going, I moved on to the bed. It was comfortable, with clean sheets and lots of fluffy pillows. I checked in late and needed a shower. Thanks for the plaque explaining how to use the handle. As soon as I pulled the curtain closed, a spider about the size of a baby armadillo climbed between the inner and outer curtains. I’m not afraid of spiders, but this one was like a baseball with legs, so I shrieked and smacked the curtain. Then I remembered Mr Todenhausen explaining gravity in 8th grade science as the eight-eyed, eight-legged thing scrambled around the tub trying to escape the shower. I sent it into a crushing wave with my foot and watched it whirl around the drain. So long, sucka. I kept one eye on the drain through the rest of the shower, in case it was some weapon from Cyberdyne Systems mistaking me for John Connor. The water pressure and temperature were above average, the toiletries smelled great and didn’t leave cheap soap film, and the body towel was fluffy, absorbent, and actually big enough. The body lotion was a nice bonus too. Before heading out, I put a big can of Mountain Dew from my bag in the mini fridge, planning a morning kick start. There are lots of places to eat and drink within walking distance; Sugarfire BBQ is fire, but that’ll be a separate review. As in any city, there are homeless people, scammers, and thieves. If you’re out at night in an unfamiliar area, check your phone map before leaving, then put the phone away, keep your head up, and walk confidently. You’ll usually be fine. When I got back, I manhandled the door, adjusted the two AC units, another suite perk, and got ready for bed. Friends texted that they weren’t ready to call it a night, so they came up. We used the couch and sitting chair, which was nice since nobody had to sit on the bed. I eventually sent them off and slept peacefully. The room was quiet and comfortable. In the morning, I made coffee in the room, but there was no creamer, grrr. I remembered my Dew, which was slushy cold. Checkout was quick and easy. I skipped the hotel breakfast at $12, so you’re on your own for that.

The halls were hot and smelled bad, and the AC in my room wasn’t working properly, so it stayed hot too. The room itself was dirty, the tub was nasty, and the sheets weren’t clean. I complained several times but never got clean sheets. It costs too much for a place this dirty. I don’t recommend it. Just don’t!

The staff were friendly, and the location is decent, around a 20-minute walk from Busch Stadium. The place seems to have had an incomplete renovation, maybe one that’s still underway. The lobby is decent, while the halls are a bit dingy and the rooms are just okay. In one room, the phone wasn’t plugged into anything, the toilet seat didn’t match the shape of the toilet, and part of the baseboard was missing. If you know what you’re getting, it’s not the worst place.