La Loma Resort

The view was amazing, and the shower had strong pressure with plenty of hot water. Those were about the only things that worked for us. Maybe I should’ve known better since this was the only place available and the price was unusually good, around 50-something per night. The service started well: I asked a question around 9 pm, outside business hours, and got a quick answer. The next day I asked about the heated pool and never heard back. Breakfast was basic: toast, crackers, two small butters, two small jams, two dulce de leche portions, coffee, tea, and powdered milk. The room was old and average, smelled musty, and was filthy. The mattresses and pillows were worse than hospital ones. The electric kettle, microwave, and mini-fridge were there, but the microwave and fridge were grimy, and there was grease and dirt everywhere, including huge grime rings on the nightstand and filthy windows. The TV was old cable, often cutting out and showing a rainy picture when it did work. The hallways leading to the “apartment” were dirty too. Cleanliness was basically nonexistent: dirty dishes, torn sheets covered in hair and bugs, filthy sinks, and grimy appliances. A notice said towels changed every 3 days, but they didn’t. Sheets were meant to be changed every 5 days, but we were there only 4 nights, so I couldn’t check. Cleaning was supposed to happen every other day; they came the day before checkout, maybe to avoid a bad review, and only changed the trash bag and moved the table. The facilities included grills, hammocks, and a covered barbecue area, plus a game room with two foosball tables and a ping-pong table without the equipment needed to play. There were also two pools. The one called heated was just as cold as the other and very dirty. The outdoor pool wasn’t even full and had lots of drowned bugs. The place didn’t seem to get even basic cleaning. The account of the facilities was repeated: grills, hammocks, a barbecue area, the same game room and pools, the same lack of cleaning, and the same amazing view as the one thing that made the place worthwhile.