Mariaggi's Theme Suite Hotel & Spa

I needed time to cool off before writing this because I was so upset. Months ahead, I booked a room, but got “upgraded” to one I hadn't wanted. It was in disarray and falling apart: the shower door hung off its hinges, there were holes in the wall, and plywood window ornaments were tipping over the toilet. The receptionist was irritable when we raised it, called us ungrateful, and got obnoxiously defensive while frantically trying to insist nothing was broken. He said he'd fixed the shower door, but after he left, it fell straight off again under gravity. We aren't confrontational, but we said we didn't want to pay a premium for a room we hadn't booked and that the shower still needed repair. He refused a refund and said the room could be reordered, which would take two hours. We agreed, came back five hours later, and it still wasn't ready. We didn't get in until 10:45pm, with the normal checkout time still in effect. The receptionist was wearing a stained grey tee-shirt, no shoes, and threadbare socks I could see his feet through. I've worked in hospitality and retail for over 20 years, so I understand bad days, but we were treated horribly. I wouldn't doubt there were pervert cameras in the rooms. I have photos of the room. I'd never come back.

I booked the Egyptian room with the manager weeks in advance for a Saturday, so my parents could celebrate their 40th anniversary. When they arrived, we found the reservation had been made for Sunday instead. I'd paid $736, including the $50 parking package. They offered the Rome room, worth roughly $481 with tax and parking, complimentary red and white wine that night, checkout extended to 1pm, and what they called the “best” free breakfast at 10am. By 10:20, no food had arrived, and a call to the desk revealed no arrangement had been made. The front desk couldn't reach the manager, but did order food. It finally showed up at noon, basic breakfast from Uber, which my parents described as “OK.” I felt terrible. I'd recommended the place because my previous experience was good, aside from dinner. The rooms are amazing, but they should have had the room we'd paid for. I felt scammed: the manager made promises and didn't deliver, and no refund was offered. If you book here, get your reservation in writing.

We spent maybe two hours trying to get things working, then left for another hotel. I'd paid $1,075 for two nights, but after all that we got only the $500 back for the second night we didn't use. We didn't touch the pool table, Pac-Man game, or shower because we worried they would cause more problems. The owner Lowell said we left without waiting and couldn't be appeased, though we'd waited after staff said they couldn't reach him. He also said he had refunded us and offered a free night, but we'd already paid for it. Later he offered a voucher for a free night if I took down this review, saying it was “very unbecoming of me.” The staff were rude and disheveled, the cook was wearing boxers, and none of the amenities worked, including the jacuzzi and TV. We were called stupid and liars when we complained, as if everything worked and we just didn't know how. We even needed pliers to turn the tub to cold water. The paid underground parking is around the corner, and losing the only key card costs $500. The owner denied what happened several times and apologized only when he realized he might be in the wrong. I'm glad we didn't buy the massage package, who knows what they would've “provided.” We were there around two hours and got only one night refunded. Use caution if you decide to stay.

The Cuba room looks really cool, but after spending 15 hours there, the problems started piling up. At around $700 after tax, you'd expect it to be clean and for things to work. The bathroom sink was dirty, there was long hair in the jet tub from the previous guest, the throw pillows were stained, and the room had barely been vacuumed. Mouse traps with droppings around them were tucked into hidden corners. The hot tub jets barely had enough pressure to mix the bubble bath, which cost an extra $25 and was just generic bubble bath poured into a flower vase on the tub ledge. On the shared deck, a moody leather couch drips on you, and the platform creaks and groans if you move too far from it. Paper was taped over the deck door windows for privacy. The room itself is cool, but the whole place has been left to time too long. The cleaning staff needs to pay more attention when a room costs $575 plus tax for one night. I wouldn't go back.