Emeraudes

The beds were lovely, and on our first day we even made two new friends, Jack and Mark, a pair of daddy long leg spiders. We'll be friends forever ❤️. The food was just as memorable: boiled chicken stir fried in ketchup water and seasoned with finger juice. Every bite brought me closer to the chef, mentally and physically, as his body fluids entered me through the dishes. Marvelous, spectacular, extraordinary, wonderful.

The Swiss Alosrestaurant view was a highlight. You could stare into the distance while practically fasting because the food was so bad, then turn and watch the chef massage it with his bare hands. If he'd shaped the ice cream with his nails, at least we could have called it art. Each floor had its own scent. The 4th smelled like wet socks, the 3rd strongly of vinegar, and the 2nd of cigarettes. On the 1st, especially by our fridge, there was the rare fragrance of dead rats marinated in vinegar.

Eden Switzerland really is something. If you get lonely, insects will keep you company, and if you're after extra texture, you can taste the chef's fingers. Even in the restroom you won't be alone, since there's no lock.

At eden resort anzere, the chef's finger-made indentation gave the ice cream its marvelous touch. I heard that's a speciality here.