Hotel L'Escala

We arrived around 23.00 to find the hotel locked up. Thankfully, after we called the number provided, the woman on the phone said a colleague would come let us in, and a man arrived about ten minutes later. Being able to check in late was the good part. We had booked a standard double with one large bed but were given a standard room with two singles. When I asked why, the explanation was that another guest had extended their stay, even though we'd booked first. I asked how that could happen if the room was reserved, but the conversation ended with the lady asking, 'you have a room now, right?' That made it seem like all they cared about was giving us any room, while the other details didn't matter. A shameful attitude for a hotel owner or manager.

The breakfast had a good range, though some things could run out as it got close to 9am. We always did well eating before 8. Street-facing rooms are fine, too, since the windows seal properly and keep things quiet. I stayed four nights, found the room very comfortable, and had good hot water and water pressure. Everyone on staff was friendly. I'd definitely come back on my next trip to Frankfurt.

The one consistently good thing was the concierge, a kind and attentive fellow who did what he could to make the stay bearable. The bathroom was clean and had hot water, and at least you get a roof, a bed, and a chance to reflect on your life choices. That's about it for the pros. I could barely fit in the elevator alone, despite a sign saying it held six people, and it only worked sometimes. The revolving door also refused to revolve. Getting inside took a while, and the hotel's sign was off, so it was hard to spot on a cold night in February drizzle. There might be parking around the corner if luck is on your side. The reception has a strange cultural mashup feel, with curry smell getting into your clothes and Punjabi electronic music blaring. My Comfort Room was cold, but I suppose you can get used to it with autogenic training. It looks stuck in the '90s, with sparse, worn furniture and a bed that seems designed by a drill sergeant. The triangular pillow takes practice, and the blanket is too short to cover both your shoulders and feet. The shower head is huge and hangs at an odd angle, so you'll need some creativity, maybe a shoelace or USB cable, to sort it out. They call the room soundproof, but you can hear the next person snoring and farting, along with their bathroom trips. You also hear what's happening in the corridor, on the stairs, and on nearby floors. Maybe that's useful if you're on the run, have the mafia after you, or are paranoid. Breakfast is eggs and sausages, like military service, with no mustard or ketchup because apparently those are bad for your health. Recommended for people with nothing to lose, or anyone hoping to temper their spirit or end it all. The rest of it is a con.

I've tried to book here twice and both times couldn't get into the room I had reserved. The reception was empty when I arrived, even though I came during the check-in window I selected. I called the entrance numbers and reached someone once. They sounded like I'd woken them, then hung up when I asked how to enter the hotel. My messages through the same app they used to ask how my stay was going got no reply either. The booking couldn't be refunded, yet I wasn't given access to the room. It felt more like a scam than anything.