Pension Helgoländ

I booked two nights and ended up sleeping in my car the second night. We were frightened when a mentally disturbed man banged on the walls and door at night. The owner was incredibly unfriendly and spoke little to no German. This place stinks, seems never to be cleaned, and it's impossible to sleep here. They charge hotel prices for what isn't even a proper guesthouse. I foolishly booked it. Zero stars would be fair.

What a disaster. In the double room, everyone can look in through the shop-window-like front, so there's no privacy. The kitchenette is dirty and smelly, and with two burners for eight people, cooking is out of the question. I wouldn't recommend sleeping in your car in the parking lot either.

The value for money is good, and I can't confirm the complaints about noise. Maybe we just had quiet neighbors. The rooms were clean and well kept, and communication with the landlord was excellent. It just shows you can't always go by the reviews. I'd recommend staying here.

The low price may be tempting, but I'd tell people to spend a few euros more and go somewhere else. Although the listing says the accommodation follows Feng Shui and promises restful nights, our first night was anything but. The shared toilets and showers smelled bad and weren't clean. Depending on how many people are there, you may have to wait, which delays quiet time. They also ask guests not to shower after 10 p.m. because of the noise. The rooms are just adequate for sleeping, with only the bare essentials. We asked to cancel after that first night and wanted to leave, but there was no willingness to compromise, repeated twice, or any understanding of our concerns. We were told there'd be plenty of parking, especially in the afternoon, but that turned out to be an empty promise. The area's narrow streets also made it very hard to find a suitable space for our larger vehicle. You can't give less than one star, though this deserves zero.