El Geisum Village

It feels artificial, fancy, and expensive without much to show for it, so I wouldn’t choose to visit. If privacy, solitude, and a bit of prestige are what you’re after, though, this might be your kind of artificial place.

The hotel's location was good, and breakfast and the dining room staff were great. The rest of my three-day stay was simply unpleasant. There was no internet in my room, only at reception, despite what the listing said, and there was no cleaning. The shower was still broken when I left. At the beach, the staff behind the main area charged me 100 Egyptian pounds just to stay there. I asked for bottled water and paid 200 Egyptian pounds for the water and beach access, but got no change. I later found out they had shamelessly cheated me. They take advantage of tourists who don't know the value of Egyptian money. The receptionist was rude from the start. He didn't greet me and spoke very poor English. He asked if I wanted to “bay,” and when I asked what he meant, he sarcastically slapped me in the face as if I didn't know English, then repeated it. Only then did I realise he meant “pay.” When I went back with specific complaints, he laughed at me. I asked him to come try the room door, since I could barely open or close it with the old key and had to use force. He came along and couldn't lock it either. Then he said I didn't need to use the key because the door wouldn't open without it anyway, which made no sense. When I asked for another room, even offering to pay the difference, he said it wasn't possible, turned his back on me, and laughed about me with the security guard at the entrance. The room was a disappointment too. The bathroom was dirty, the mirror looked as if it hadn't been cleaned in at least a year, and the shower head was broken. The old entrance door was very hard to operate with the key, and the balcony view was almost nonexistent unless I stood on my toes to see the sea.

The food got monotonous fast. Lunch and dinner were almost the same each day, chicken or meat with bland boiled vegetables and plain rice or pasta. Dinner always had fish with rice and no other choices. Dessert was poor too, usually dry cake, grapes, overly sweet basbousa, or badly made jelly. The towel charge was one of the worst parts. They kept 500 EGP because a towel had simply got dirty, even though we returned it, and called it “damaged.” Housekeeping also took another towel from our room without asking. Nobody explained or followed up until checkout. We had booked full board, but the stay was extremely disappointing. The pool was dirty and disgusting, while the beach had sharp rocks that made it uncomfortable to walk barefoot, let alone swim. Beach access wasn't controlled, so outsiders could come in freely with no sign or staff checking. The room was average, the AC was okay, but there was no shampoo, just one small bar of soap for the whole stay. It felt more like punishment than a vacation. Definitely not recommended.

I wasn't staying at the hotel, just passing through to eat at the German restaurant by the beach. The garden and pool looked nice, though the pool water was a little green. The food at the German restaurant was amazingly delicious.