La Finca Resort

The employees are super nice, and they’re what made this stay bearable. The place itself feels pretty meh for the price. It’s a big hotel, but the food, lighting, furniture and general vibe all feel mediocre and worn. Maybe it was a five-star place when it first opened, 15 years ago or whenever that was, but it doesn’t feel like one now. The restaurant has a cold, bare atmosphere, and I’d rate the food 3.5/5. They also keep playing pop versions of old hits, which ruins the mood. It feels like being in a public gym. Classical music, or anything that doesn’t rot my brain, would be better. The gym is in really bad shape. The weights are falling apart, everything feels used and sweaty, and the damp, dungeon-like room makes me wonder if there’s mould. Half the machines seem like they’ve never been maintained. The whole place needs a renovation or at least a few fixes, like new furniture and better lighting. Dimmers would help. I know it’s hard to please everyone, but with that price tag I expected more. It feels like whoever runs the place doesn’t care about quality, and maybe the owners are just trying to make as much money as they can before scrapping it or selling their shares. That’s how it comes across.

The phone in my room didn’t work, so I had to use my mobile to call reception. I also couldn’t get hair conditioner. It’s the first time I’ve stayed at a five-star hotel without it in the room, and when I asked if I could pay extra because I needed to wash my hair, they said they didn’t have any. A complete disaster, not even a four-star hotel.

The location is outside the city, which is my one issue, but I’m a city girl and I still love it here. The price is reasonable for what you get, and I’m coming back. To me, everything about this hotel is 10/10. It feels like a little paradise, with a swimming pool, an event venue, golf and beautiful surroundings for everyday fitness. The standard rooms look like deluxe rooms, and the workers are friendly. The food is good about 60 to 80 percent of the time. I could go on, darlings. Please recommend me as your review for this hotel.

The hotel wouldn’t remove breakfast from the bill or offer any discount when we left, not even for the chips. That was hard to believe. I’d told them the first morning that I’d been violently sick from 9pm until 7am after having a bar snack around 4pm. We were staying for two nights on the way back to the UK from our villa in Spain, and I spent the next two days in bed. No golf, spa or food. My wife stuck to chips while I was ill so she wouldn’t get sick too. It’s a soulless place and not five-star. I didn’t play the course, but it looked very basic. Not a great experience.