Albergue La Costana

The rooms and beds were spacious, clean, and perfectly fine, and getting in and out with the phone system was a fun, high-tech touch. The kitchen has a microwave and fridge but no stove, so keep that in mind if you’re planning to cook. The outdoor areas could be better looked after, though they’re useful for a smoke, a bit of time before bed, or breakfast outside. I didn’t see the pool. One thing to know if you’re booking several nights: the hostel closes from 12 p.m. to 5 p.m., and guests have to leave. I’m not sure where you’re meant to go or why, since there’s not much of interest nearby. It’s also a bit out of the way if you don’t have your Kinton cloud☁️. There are only two bathrooms for all those beds, so expect to wait a while pretty often, whether you need the toilet or a shower. They’re small and don’t offer much privacy 🙈, which could make it hard for some people to do their business 💩 in peace. The shower barely has any water, and the broken showerhead hooks make washing your hair awkward, especially with a lot of Saiyan hair. The light kept switching on and off too. I even danced 💃 in there to see if movement caused it, but it seemed totally random 🤷. For a hostel, it’s not bad, but some things are quite inconvenient. I’d stay again, I’d make some changes and improvements, and I’d recommend it. Everyone knows what they need when they travel.

Everything else was fine, and the place was pretty nice. The one strange thing was that around 4 a.m. I looked out the window and saw the owner sacrificing a goat in the garden, inside some sort of satanic circle and speaking Latin. This morning there was a weird lump on my temple. I don’t know what’s going on with me, so tomorrow I’m getting my chakras cleansed by a witch.

The insects were apparently part of the deal, along with a safari. I had a spider snuggling up to me all night, very cozy. The owner also kept me talking for an hour at check-in, so introverts, you’ve been warned. The lice slide is pretty cool. Big up, knee-head! As for the place itself, it’s a total wasteland on a remote mountain outside an industrial park. The bunks might suit a Jew in Germany in 1943, and don’t worry about being cold: I put in a dozen eggs yesterday, and they were boiled by morning. The bathrooms would be great if you’d just escaped from Alcatraz. Other than those details, the place is pretty good.

I found the owner friendly and helpful, unlike what some reviews say. He doesn’t speak English, like many people in Spain. It would obviously make things easier, but he isn’t obligated to, and this is a hostel in Asturias, not an international Hilton. The rooms, bathrooms, and shared areas are part of hostel life. You’re sharing dorms and facilities, and that’s part of the experience. I’m fine with disposable sheets and single-use pillowcases, actually, I think they’re hygienic. The rules and schedules also seem reasonable to me. With guests coming and going, they help make space for cleaning, rest, and a sense of community. This is Asturias, not Marbella, and expecting a hostel to run like a luxury hotel just isn’t realistic. Calling it the middle of nowhere is an exaggeration. Oviedo is close by, and you can reach the city center by car or bus in a few minutes. Check Google Maps if you think you’re booking a remote mountain hideaway. This is simple, practical, affordable accommodation, mainly for Camino de Santiago pilgrims and other travelers. It’s not a 4 or 5-star resort in Puerto Banús. If you want to come and go whenever you like, have a private suite with a jacuzzi, and a bellhop at the door, book a hotel instead. I thought the hostel was clean, comfortable, very good, and well-run. Come knowing what a hostel offers and you’ll love it. If you’re after something different, there are hotels in the area. I’d definitely stay again.