Havana

For €60 a night, Havana gave me a time-warp trip to what cheap hotels might have felt like 70 or 80 years ago. Back then, at least, the plumbing, lights, carpets, furniture, door handles, phones and roof would have been new. Here, roof leaks had been patched with adhesive tape. The shower water was not even lukewarm, the showerhead only sort of worked, and room heating seemed stingily controlled by someone at Havana HQ with no say for the guest. There was no internet for me now, either. They'd replaced the old square black-and-white TVs, which might have worked better, with a modern flickering flatscreen that had no viewable channels. The name Havana does suit the old part of the Cuban capital. Calling this a hotel feels a little optimistic. Five stars only if you're after that time-warp experience for one night.