Lomond Hills Hotel

The staff were lovely when we arrived, friendly and easy to talk to, and happy to answer questions. Management had also stepped in to sort out the stressful booking problem I’d mentioned before, just before our stay, which we appreciated. As a thoughtful gesture, the hotel left prosecco and cakes in the room. Our room was freshly updated with a modern feel, a nice shower room, windows that opened, a big smart TV and a safe. It was on the small side and had no wardrobe, and hallway noise came through quite easily. Breakfast was good, with cereal, bread, jams and a self-serve coffee machine. The sauna was great, though the pool was colder than we liked and the jacuzzi wasn’t working. The changing rooms had hair dryers and straighteners, but there wasn’t much privacy to get changed. Some shared areas could use improvement too. The pool table room felt cut off and lacked atmosphere, while the main bar had a much nicer vibe. It might work better nearer the bar. There were some real positives, especially the staff and how they handled our earlier issue, but the hotel still has a few things it could improve.

Bonnie was the highlight of our stay, a lovely lass who was friendly and knew the local area well. She found us a couple of wine glasses to take to our room, and we had a nice chat while checking in. We came for a night away after seeing the pool and sauna in the photos, and arrived around 3.30pm. The fresh rooms were nice, though the bathroom tile grouting needs attention and the sink water stayed cold whatever way we turned the tap. Maybe the 45 people in the coach party staying that night had something to do with it. We didn’t use the bar. The buffet breakfast was warm and fresh. The door fob is worth getting, since we took ages to work out how the door opened even after Bonnie explained it. Our only real letdown was the jacuzzi being out of order. It would’ve been good to know in the booking confirmation. We’d definitely recommend the hotel and come back to try the jacuzzi another time.

Breakfast was laughable. There was no staff around, no plates or glasses, and we had to piece together what we could from dry food left under heat lamps for who knows how long. The continental items looked close to their expiry dates, and burst yoghurts were sitting in a bowl of ice. Nothing was labelled, so dealing with an allergy or intolerance would’ve been a mystery. At checkout there was no staff either. As we passed the kitchen, we heard someone say, “everyone seems so unhappy but I really can’t blame them”. Getting checked in took an uncomfortably long time. Staff looked terrified, kept apologising and moving back and forth. The process itself was fairly simple, but the only person who seemed able to use the computer struggled to find any guests in the system. The key code worked efficiently. In the room, a hole in the wall had been filled where the door handle had hit it. The mirrors and walls were very grubby, possibly from children or dogs. It was freezing, with the radiator off and the windows wide open in subzero Scottish weather. We got some warmth from the portable heater in the wardrobe. Food options were limited to snack and dinner menus that were basically the same and didn’t appeal for the price. There wasn’t much nearby to eat or do, so we spent the afternoon exploring Glenrothes to find food. The bed was comfortable enough, but the curtains let in lots of light, so by 8am the room was practically bright, and streetlights kept it from getting fully dark overnight. The walls were thin, and there was plenty of foot traffic through the night. The kettle was decent. Showering was a challenge: the shower seemed to run on a timer, the temperature was unpredictable, and the hot water ran out quickly. Fire safety needs more thought. There seemed to be only one alarm switch for the building, and the whole setup looked thrown together. We didn’t get to try the spa facilities. The hotel felt like a village pub, which didn’t put us in a spa mood, and other guests seemed unimpressed with the condition of the facilities. We definitely won’t return. In the middle of nowhere with little to do, a hotel needs to be somewhere you’d want to come back to. This one is a reason to stay away.

The hotel worked well as a base for us, and yes, we’d stay again. We got a great last-minute deal, found it easily, and had ample parking at the rear. Our room was small but clean, with a big bed, smart TV, tea and coffee facilities, a modern bathroom, safe and complimentary water. I’d have liked a wardrobe or some hooks for clothes and luggage, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. We checked out the pool and gym without using them, and the gym looked well equipped. Breakfast was a buffet with cooked items and cereal. The coffee machine only gave hot water, though you could make your own. It’s a little tired, but fine for the price.