The Captain's House

The garden was lovely and the food was okay, but the service ruined the stop for us. After a scenic walk, our group of seven came in for tea and coffee. The old chap greeted us bluntly, then hurried off to fetch seven chairs and another table. We settled into the garden and were practically told what to order: “cream teas?” We only wanted one cream tea to share, with drinks for everyone else, which seemed to disappoint him. One of the mugs arrived with rubbish in it. When we asked where the toilets were, he pointed firmly across the bridge and rudely told us to use the public ones. It was certainly a memorable afternoon tea, though I don’t fancy revisiting the memory. He might want to consider a different line of work, because hospitality didn’t seem right for him.

Go for the comic performance, but don’t spend your money on the cream tea. The proprietor has Basil Fawlty’s social graces down to a t, and every conversation is so awkward it becomes entertaining. His take on a “continental breakfast” is warm milk and lukewarm orange juice concentrate. He doesn’t offer much choice either, it’s toast and cereal. The disparaging reviews are all true. Visit if you like, but lower your expectations.

The place is very pretty, especially on a summer’s day, but I’d personally give it a miss. We didn’t actually have bad service, despite the negative reviews, but the cream seemed possibly off. We only noticed after eating it, so didn’t bring it up. I was surprised to be charged £16 for a pot of tea and two supermarket cream teas. There were no menus or prices to check beforehand, and payment was demanded almost as soon as the items were put on the table. It’s a shame that customer feedback seems to have been ignored.

The garden is pretty, but that was the only good part of our visit. We felt pushed into ordering cream teas, then were charged far too much, cash upfront, with no prices shown and no receipt. The cream seemed off and the stale scones fell apart. The old chap was rude and odd. We wish we’d trusted our instincts and gone elsewhere. Don’t make our mistake.