Ropemaker

Save your money and your year. I've been sitting here for nearly an hour trying to think of something Ropemaker Court does well, and I still can't. Any positive review from before September 2025 was written under CRM Students, before Mezzino took over. Residents haven't been treated like paying customers since. Staff seem to tune out complaints and deal with them based on how likely someone is to give up. In my first week, a neighbour in another flat welcomed me by offering a sample packet of cocaine and his number in the car park. Over the next year there were fights outside, tenants shouting until early morning, weed being smoked anywhere, cars most nights passing things through open windows in the adjacent Worldwide Foods car park, regular police visits, and litter across the outdoor communal area. Night staff dealt with it by sitting at reception and making sure everyone liked them. For days at a time, the building smelled as if something had died in the walls. Something had. Animals were regularly found decomposing in vents, and tenants weren't told. The internet is from ASK4 and laundry from CircuitGo. They were presumably the cheapest options, and that's how they perform. Outside, Wilmslow Road's infamous “Curry Mile” offers a smash burger place, a phone shop, and a homeless addict every three steps. At least the car park drug dealing fits the neighbourhood. Andrew Butterworth, the assistant manager, has the charisma of a Hartley's Jelly Pot. He swings back and forth in his tiny office chair like a gormless metronome. His finest moment was facing several thousand pounds in arrears caused by his own team's handling of an £836 instalment payment, then sincerely suggesting I stream video games on Twitch to clear the debt. Mezzino seemingly hires anything that can fog a mirror. Karolina Szatkowska, the accommodation manager, was mostly a name Andrew said when responsibility got too close to his desk. I've seen more signs of life from Bigfoot. The events calendar is just as ambitious: a Sip'n'Paint with Lidl wine and a Poundland arts and crafts clearance bundle, pumpkin carving presumably for residents attending Heald Place Primary School, and a St. Patrick's Day quiz hosted by self-proclaimed “Quizmaster Andy”, slumped behind reception. The prize was likely whatever canned cocktail he could find with a yellow sticker. Events were regularly cancelled for lack of sign-ups. Out of hundreds of residents, nobody bothered. Even captive audiences have standards. Maintenance can take weeks, then people turn up unannounced, with two taps and the door already opening despite the contract promising 24-hour notice. For half a year, hot water lasted about six minutes. When three tenants complained, each of us was separately told we must coincidentally be bathing at exactly the same time every day. After National Code, PRS, and the council got involved, a contractor fixed it in one visit. I reported a dripping shower head. Weeks later, two contractors arrived and made it clear I should be ashamed of existing on a Friday afternoon. They replaced the whole unit without asking, left the bath looking like the Somme, snapped the bath plug, and slammed the door repeatedly on their way out. Lovely blokes. Ropemaker Court is still university-approved accommodation. I couldn't tell you why.