The Farmhouse

On our first trip to Guernsey, we stayed at what may be the best hotel we’ve ever visited. The food was outstanding, the rooms were comfortable and very well appointed, and the staff were friendly, helpful and well trained. We had Room 1, a suite that was particularly quiet and comfortable, with a huge bathroom, generous fluffy robes and towels, slippers, and powerful air conditioning. There’s lots of parking as well. Occasional events can be noisy, but guests are told in advance. We really can’t fault the stay and would gladly return or recommend it.

The prices are shocking for what felt like a hovel. The carpet by the bed was filthy, the shower smelled of mould, and the room’s tea and coffee cups were dirty. At first I thought the place looked nice, but that changed quickly. My room above the bar was so noisy I had to move, and traffic came straight through the cheap windows all night, so I barely slept. Staff seemed not to care. I also overheard staff openly discussing a guest’s meal complaint within earshot, with no effort to be discreet. I’d choose Premier Inn instead.

The only staff I can praise are the woman at the main desk and the woman in the breakfast room. Both gave impeccable service, thank you. The rest of the stay left me wondering how this place has four stars. Music played from 7:30 until 22:00, and it shouldn’t carry into the rooms. Hearing the cover singer warble away gets tiresome. The food was OK, but not worth the price. In the morning, no matter how long we ran the shower or sink, the water stayed cold. The bath eventually warmed up, but by then we just wanted to leave. The beds were uncomfortable, and duck feather pillows don’t make a room luxurious. There was a wall crack, the towel rail had been bodged back up with the wrong fittings, and the TV mount was a mess of cables. It all looked like nobody had taken pride in the place.

Since it’s a small hotel, the atmosphere feels personal and private, and it’s a lovely place to relax. There are buses from the road outside to St Peter Port and the Airport. Our two-day stay was faultless: the room was spotless and spacious, the beds very comfortable and the bathroom lovely. Staff were welcoming and happy to help with anything. Breakfast had a really good selection and was freshly cooked. We didn’t try dinner.