Hersonissos Palace - All Inclusive

The location was convenient, about five minutes from the beach and bars, and five minutes from the main shopping area. There's a shop across the road that stays open from early until midnight. The hotel calls itself five-star, though I'd put it closer to three or four. The rooms, service and staff were good, and the buffet food was very good, with lots of variety and high quality each day. There's something for everyone, unless you're a particularly fussy younger teen. If you like cake, you're in for a treat. My wife doesn't have caffeine or alcohol, and found it hard to get decaf coffee in the morning or suitable drinks in the evening, though that seems common around the continent. The one letdown was the à la carte restaurant, which you can book once a week. The starters were salads and overcooked, cold chicken wings. The mains were burgers, also cold. My wife expected a homemade chicken burger like the very good one she'd had at the buffet a few days earlier, but this was a thin, heavily processed, mass-produced breaded patty that was probably only 8% meat. We walked out and went back to the buffet. I'd rate the food and staff 9/10, the hotel 7/10, and the à la carte 0/10.

The location is good, close to the city centre, and the food in the restaurants is good quality. Breakfast was the weakest meal with the least variety, but still more than enough. Lunch had lots of well-made choices, and dinner had the widest selection. Free drinks included good coffee, tea, juice, soda, wine and beer. The pool was good too. This seems like a good hotel for older guests. Around 99 percent of the people staying there looked about 57 on average. There are no children's activities, no activities for young guests, and only one evening a week with a singer doing two hours of retro lounge music. Maybe that's why you rarely hear beds banging against the wall. Our room was a little dated but clean, with a great balcony where smoking was allowed. We don't smoke. The bed was very comfortable, with the soft mattress I like, though it can bang against the wall if you move around too much. You could control your movement or put something between the bed and wall. The WiFi was really good. Getting to reception means climbing 20 steps or taking the main elevator, one of those early-90s models with a metal door you pull open, almost 40 years old. The same elevators take you to the rooms. The receptionist wasn't very nice or patient about explaining things, just handed us a page and said all the information was there. Since some people may think it's a five-star hotel, note that you pay tourist tax at the five-star rate. In peak season that's €15 a night. Search for Crete tourist tax information for details. The bar alcohol was poor quality, and I think it was heavily diluted or had very little alcohol in it. Most cocktails had more sugar than anyone could drink, and hardly any alcohol, but it is all-inclusive. Would I recommend staying? Yes, if you want good food and a convenient location near the city centre. It also seemed to have more, hidden pools and a bar. We only noticed them in the middle of the night during our last hour there. Ask the receptionist, as they won't volunteer information beyond the list they give you.

The food was okay, with something for everyone, the mattresses were comfortable, and the location was great. But we'd expected a five-star hotel, and this was three at best. We had to change rooms because delivery barrels were rolling outside and waking us at night. The staff were very miserable. The two restaurant waiters were the politest, while everyone else made us feel like we were walking on eggshells. Parts of the interior and decor were extremely dated and dirty. Drinks were poor quality and watered down, there weren't enough sun loungers, and the entertainment was poor, with just one night a week.

The beach is a one-minute walk away, and the centre is quite close. Our room was clean and very nice, though the layout wasn't very practical. The gym was nice but small. The hotel was okay, but didn't deserve five stars. Food was mediocre at best and often repeated, while the drinks were cheap and the alcohol almost completely watered down. The restaurant manager was always around but never smiled or welcomed guests. All in all, the stay was okay, but next time we'd probably pick another hotel.