Grand Hotel Ischia Lido

We were here last week. Nice hotel, and the staff were capable and efficient. Special mention to Susanna in housekeeping.

The standout for me was the buffet: loads of delicious Neapolitan food, and you can go back for more. The hotel is right by the water, near the port, and in the middle of a charming town. There are plenty of amenities, though the rooms are small, about what I’d expect in Italy. You won’t hear much English, so knowing some Italian, or Neapolitan (Nabulidan), helps.

This place nearly wrecked our holiday. In the end we treated it as somewhere to sleep and spent most of our time elsewhere. The photos online gave us the wrong idea: our room had no balcony and looked onto a brick wall. It was badly dated, the bathroom had mould, and the TV was tiny. Check-in was just a key and directions to one of two buildings. After that, you were on your own. The breakfast “buffet” meant yogurt, canned fruit, plain biscuits, a plain or chocolate croissant, awful machine coffee, and stale bread ends for the old toaster. The indoor heated pool costs extra, is restricted to people over 16, and was dark, smelly, and old. Even when crowded, it looked like chicken broth. For the outdoor pool you need a swimming cap, but they didn’t say where to get one. Bring your own swim towels, too. Using hotel towels there is forbidden and apparently gets you charged. I’m Italian, but my family aren’t, and it felt like non-Italians and older guests were the ones this hotel catered to. You can’t just buy a coffee at the bar or send the kids for ice cream: first you have to arrange a prepaid bar card at reception.

I stayed here with my wife and son.