Touch Resort

I'm not going back. Eating pizza in what felt like a damp basement was unpleasant, and the noise was so loud it could have been a children's party with 20 kids. They wouldn't let us order a large Coke bottle, only small ones, yet charged us the large-bottle price. The prices are on the high side too. For that kind of money, you could easily get a good meat meal.

The only nice part of the evening was Mr. Gerry at the piano bar. Without him, it would have been a complete disaster. I was there on Saturday night for my husband's birthday after a colleague recommended the place, and I was so embarrassed in front of our guests. We had agreed on three rounds of pizza, but there were no shared platters where people could take another piece of one of the three chosen flavors. Each person got only a tiny piece of each flavor, and it was cold. The fruit was just three thin slices on a small plate. I'd rather laugh than describe it more. I strongly advise against going.

The way the pizzas were served meant we only ate three slices in total. Each piece came separately on a plate, served to each guest by one or two waiters, and the pizza quality didn't make up for the poor service. I had to ask three times for cutlery because my place wasn't set, even though I had a seat. The portions were sparse, laid out on plates so large they'd have looked oversized even for a grape. I was at last Saturday's party, and the restaurant's reply to the previous review blamed cold pizza on guests taking too long to sit down. Since when should guests be told when and how to take their seats? The pizzas seemed frozen to me. Instead of criticizing customers, the restaurant should accept feedback and be grateful for it, since that can help improve the service. The option to leave reviews is there for a reason. NOT RECOMMENDED.

We left at 9:20 PM on December 31, unable to face another course. The fixed menu offered only one choice, and dinner for five included five starters, five first courses, a bottle of Falanghina, and water for 132 euros. The ground-floor dining room on New Year's Eve wasn't warm enough, so, like most of the other guests, we had to eat in our coats. Staff were friendly, but sadly incompetent. In buffalo country, the mozzarella was small, dry, hard, and had no milk in it. The cold cuts were mediocre, and the salad was sad and unseasoned. The cannelloni, filled with what was supposedly scallop purée and covered in béchamel, were truly disgusting and inedible. The other first course was paccheri with fresh cherry tomatoes and scamorza, but the sauce was more like overcooked, slightly sour preserves.