ILLUSION XPRESS Downtown Playa

The air freshener they use smells awful :-( We first got one of the mini rooms downstairs. It was sold as having AC, but instead there was a fan that was honestly the loudest thing ever. We complained because we expected proper AC. They offered to move us, but only for a fee, and didn’t seem willing to help. The larger room was nicer, but the noise made it impossible to sleep. Loud music went on until 4am, sometimes 2am, then there were barking dogs and crowing cockerels. It was almost laughable how much noise carried into the rooms from outside, even though I couldn’t work out how the building let it happen. And one neighbor seemed obsessed with Lady in Red by Chris Deburgh, playing it over and over during the day. In three nights, we heard it more than we had in the rest of our lives.

It’s a very basic hotel, but the staff were kind and helpful, especially Sam and the housekeeping team.

Don’t go here. The room was nearly unbearable, and we almost gave it up right after checking in. The window faced the corridor, and the curtains didn’t cover it properly. There was so much air freshener covering a damp smell that we couldn’t breathe inside. The toilet made a loud repetitive noise, and we had to fix it after every flush. The pool was tiny and poorly maintained. There’s a reason the price is so cheap.

We paid 29 Euro for one night, and the price is the best reason to stay here. The location was pretty good too. The room itself is fine if you don’t need anything special, but cleanliness was lacking: there were spider webs in the corners, and the toilet smelled really bad even when I wasn’t sitting on it. The pool was a big disappointment. The hotel could have a great rooftop space, but it’s just a few tables, chairs, and sunbeds. The water was dirty and honestly disgusting. It hadn’t been cleaned, and we swam through lots of hair and other stuff.