The Uptown Place

The agents were charming, professional, on time, and very nice to deal with. The bed was fairly comfortable, and having a small kitchen and a decent fridge was useful. But the condo was dirty, and both units I saw had the same strong mould smell from under the kitchen sink, around the grease trap. I expected it to be cleaned before moving in, and the smell got into my clothes. There were small, fast cockroaches in the cooktop and bathroom plumbing. The balcony door was worn and hard to move. The sheets had marks and holes and irritated my skin, the hot water was only warm, and the old AC didn’t seem to put out clean air. The guards were everywhere and watched me like I was in prison, but they couldn’t remember to bring water. You might be able to charm them into being okay, but it felt fake. They didn’t seem to like you or their jobs. The pools were okay, though the atmosphere there wasn’t nice. The location is pretty good for getting to the esplanade, but you have to cross a busy road with drivers who have a bad attitude. Iloilo itself wasn’t a good fit for me. I wouldn’t recommend it to Western or wealthy tourists used to high standards. Maybe people are shy, but I found them too proud and passive-aggressive, and their English was very poor. I couldn’t get acceptable service in cafes or restaurants: I never had a correct order, good service, or a friendly interaction. Staff would say they were fully booked on the phone just because I spoke English and it was too hard for them, but when I went anyway, they were empty and wanted my business. People didn’t seem friendly unless you gave them money or forgave big mistakes. It felt like they hated having me there, something I’d never experienced before in the Philippines. Some other Philippinos agree with me about Ilongans. I also wouldn’t call it a bike-friendly city. Here, bikes seem to be for sport and showing off on the esplanade, rather than easy, fun, healthy transport. You can get places quickly by bike because it’s flat, and there are some cycleways, but they have obstructions. On highways, drivers get angry when you cross at the zebra crossing. Even showing up at a cafe by bike in shorts seemed offensive to them. Visitors from Europe, America, and Australia come from cold places and will need and want to wear shorts on holiday in a hot, developing-world-level place. For Iloilo, I’d stay only at a top-level hotel costing $100US, and a very new one at that. The service might be professional, though the smiles will be fake. Spend as little time in Iloilo as you can and go somewhere nicer.