Finca Victoria

We stayed in the tiny treehouse, where getting to the bed means climbing a ladder, so keep that in mind when booking. It was a lovely evening at Finca Victoria, with great food and comfortable beds in a quiet spot tucked into the forest. The morning yoga felt special and is not to be missed. At night, the coqui and other creatures made such relaxing sounds. I hope I can come back soon.

The main thing missing here was someone on the property. There’s nobody on site after 4 PM, and if you get locked out at night or need help with the A/C, toilet, or even a corkscrew, you’re stuck. Emergency numbers went straight to voicemail. Check-in is self-service, and finding the rooms in the dark was hard. The emails explained the process well, but it would have been so much easier if someone had been there to show us around. They won’t speak with you before arrival, only text or email, and replies can take hours or even days. Why not have someone on site to check people in and answer questions? The rooms were beautifully furnished, but there are no screens, so air conditioning is necessary. I would have loved to hear the jungle at night. The yoga was great. For what it costs to stay here, having someone around seems like a small thing to ask.

I had mixed feelings because the place didn’t match what I expected. The rooms looked much bigger in the photos, and four rooms we saw all seemed different from their pictures. We came with friends and misunderstood the layout: the largest room is actually split into two rooms with two living rooms. It turned out too small for our group, so we had to find a last-minute cancellation to get a different room. We could have called to check, but the photos are definitely confusing. The breakfast and surroundings were good. Our room smelled like cigarettes, or maybe like cigarette-scented candles, and it gave us a headache. The other rooms were fine. It might work well if you’re just two people.

The room was so cramped that two people had a hard time in it. They call it a “tiny treehouse,” and they mean tiny. For one person it might be okay, but I wouldn’t recommend it to a couple or anyone over 40. There’s no staircase to the upper floor, only a precarious metal ladder that you have to climb every time you go between the bed and toilet. I was scared of falling, and the tight space didn’t feel romantic at all. Cleanliness was my biggest issue at Finca Victoria. Grime streaks were all over, animal poop was clearly visible on our roof, and the art inside the room was rotting inside its frames. Rooms aren’t serviced daily, as the welcome email explains, but that still seems odd for a place presented as luxury. We also had to wash our dishes before checkout or face a $75 cleaning charge. Nobody offered to help with our bags, so we carried them across mud to the room. Coming back at night, we slipped because there wasn’t an easy path. Our door keypad broke the first night, and we had to text the after-hours staff and use a key from a lockbox. A man came to fix it the next morning without announcing himself. Because of the treehouse layout I couldn’t see anyone was there, and I exposed myself to him while climbing down the ladder. The WiFi barely worked, so we couldn’t watch movies. We also couldn’t open the curtains to see the night sky because the windows had gaps about an inch wide that could let in mosquitoes. There were some nice things. The welcome from Luis was warm, and the flowers he arranged after we helped set up flowers and wine for my partner’s arrival were beautiful. The property has lots of plants and flowers, and most shared areas were thoughtfully designed and relaxing. The pool was a letdown, though, since the whole hotel has only three pool chairs. Tea and coffee, hot and iced, were available all day. We liked the outdoor shower, and the breakfast flavors were good and well seasoned, though the food was cold and the chef who served us was passive aggressive. On the first morning, I saw the chef set napkins in a private corner of the pool area for another couple. I sat down and asked if we could eat at a poolside table. The chef said meals were served where the napkins were and pointed me to a shared table with other guests. I didn’t understand why some guests had private service while I was scolded for not knowing where to sit. I also didn’t like sitting beside my partner with strangers, like we were in a cafeteria. I was really excited to stay here for my partner’s birthday, but the online listing and the actual accommodations didn’t line up. At $350 a night, it felt like glamping for a luxury price, and I left irritated and feeling ripped off. There were highlights, but I’d urge anyone considering it to look at other options.