Quinta Funchal Gardens – Adults Only

The staff were really good and attentive to guests’ needs, and the hotel has a great location with an amazing view. Beyond that, there wasn’t much to like. It’s advertised as a 5-star hotel, but in my subjective opinion, based on stays at other 4- and 5-star hotels, it’s closer to 3 stars. It feels outdated, with old, dirty carpets, a very basic reception and lobby, and bathrooms and showers that are partly broken. Maintenance seems at least 10-15 years overdue. The pool and gym are also old and poorly maintained. The pool isn’t heated, and the whirlpool is really dirty.

Our flight was cancelled, and we arrived at the hotel stressed. The staff quickly made us feel welcome and reassured. Despite a large number of passengers arriving together, Laura handled check-in efficiently, and the team stayed calm, professional and well organised.

The gardens around QFG are lovely, and the views of Funchal are marvellous. We stayed half board for two weeks. The room was adequate, and the pool areas were small but fine, though the hotel wasn’t busy while we were there. Staff were polite, helpful and good. The breakfast buffet was good, but the dinner menu never changed and got a bit much. There was no salad option, which was disappointing on such a green island. It’s a quiet hotel without evening entertainment, probably best suited to an older couple with a hire car because of its location. The centre is a 25-minute walk along busy roads that generally have no pavements. Buses are regular and cheap during the day. It’s not 5-star.

Breakfast was a stressful part of our stay, despite the buffet having lots of high quality choices. Pigeons swooped onto tables whenever they got the chance, including tables with people’s food if they stepped away briefly, and tables that hadn’t been occupied yet. It became a matter of watching for birds and chasing them off, rather than enjoying a relaxing meal. It also felt unhygienic, since we couldn’t know if they’d walked over the cutlery before we sat down. The hotel should take this problem seriously. Our room needed maintenance: the top layer was peeling off some tables, the carpet was visibly worn, and there were marks on the walls. On the plus side, the bed was comfortable and the curtains made the room dark at night. The location is a bit out of the way for getting to the centre, so we relied on Bolt, but the lovely view over Funchal and the ocean made up for it. We had a good two-night stay.