Residentie Puma

The staff were lovely, which is why I'm giving it three stars. The rest of the stay felt like a mashup of Carry On Abroad and Fawlty Towers, and somehow I ended up enjoying the absurdity and laughing about it with some lovely people. There was no hot water, and the pool filled with sand on my fourth day, so we couldn't use it. A guest slipped on the bathroom floor because the toilet was leaking, then fell through the shower glass. The lift broke too, leaving my 81-year-old mother, who can't walk far, to climb six flights of stairs. They did get it fixed by evening. The food wasn't great, and the drinks were limited to gin, vodka, beer, and wine. Where was the rum or whisky?

We still have three days left, but the conditions are terrible. The bed linen hasn't been changed in three days, and the bathroom doesn't get cleaned properly, the glass is impossible to see through. They take your food away while you're still at the table, without waiting for you to get up. The website for Grand Sahins Turkey hotel Kusadasi listed billiards, a solarium, a children's pool, and Wi-Fi, but none of those facilities were there. The same food is served every day.

We had a nice time watching football together, Turkey-Armenia. One thing caught me off guard: someone kept hitting on me after I said no. He was very persistent, though eventually he understood that I really meant no.

The staff were nice, but they couldn't speak English. The rooms were dirty, there were sewage and health and safety issues, and no COVID or hygiene measures in place. My husband and I got very ill and couldn't wait to get home. It was a holiday from hell. The photos look nothing like what the website shows, a massive lie.