Balkaya Hotel

I stayed for a week, and the welcome was warm and polite from the staff. Aussie, the barman, was especially lovely, a real gentleman. My room was ready when I arrived, and the cleaners had done a lovely job.

We've been coming to this area for over 10 years, and this is still our favourite hotel. It's cheap and cheerful, not brilliant, but lovely if you know what I mean. You get what you pay for, so don't expect five-star standards. We've booked a third stay, which is the best compliment I can give.

We're coming back for a third round. There's so much to respect about this place! On our return, Suleyman and the family had made a few small improvements, including adding more English-speaking staff. The food was even better, though I already liked it last year. They also had evening hosts bring in local culture with folk songs and traditional dancing, which was fab. We first came for the hospitality, and we're going again next year. It's not a five-star place, more like a three, but it's wonderfully relaxing and not too far from the beach or shopping. Can't wait!

I was about 15 when I went with my nan a few years ago. She was 56, I think. Our room wasn't what we expected: its “patio” was two concrete slabs beside what was basically our fire exit, and ants came in underneath the door. We complained, and the official fix was for a cleaner to sweep them out. But ants leave pheromone trails, so more just followed. Still, the pool was pretty cool, the pool table was fun, and the bar staff were amazing hosts and a good laugh. I'm not sure if those staff still work there. The facilities were fairly reasonable, and the food was decent. There are also family-run restaurants within walking distance that serve amazing food really cheaply. I had a pretty solid time, including serving behind the bar because the staff were stoned a lot of the time. That was cool, until they tried to get a bunch of people to pay their “tabs”. People, me included, had been paying up front all week, so they understandably got pretty pissed off. In the end nobody got hurt, and it was pretty kek. The road outside is bumpy, especially on the cattle trucks taking tourists to the beach, but those rides are a pretty good crack. For me, the banter, pool table, and decent swimming pool beside the bar earned three stars. I took off two for some staff being sneaky bastards and a 30-year-old bloke trying it on with my nan, LOL. The ant room cost another star, while the Benidorm-style charm, and I mean the TV show, earned a bonus one.