The George Hotel

The one man on reception, who seemed to be doing everything else too, was really helpful. The room was basically clean and spacious, and there’s a first-come, first-served car park, which is handy since parking on the high street can be difficult. There are tea and coffee facilities but no breakfast service. That was fine for me, since there are several high-quality cafes on the high street. Still, this is probably the saddest hotel I’ve stayed in. It needs a complete refurbishment. At the very least, deep cleaning the carpets and painting the walls would help. The mattress was extremely thin, the walls let through pretty much all sound, and there seemed to be a shortage of pillows. Rooms are spread over three floors with a spiral staircase, so check first if you have mobility issues. Sadly, I really wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

Battle was a lovely place for a solo break, with plenty of restaurants for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Most of the shops are independent, and I easily got some Christmas shopping done. I booked a single room, which wasn’t big but suited me perfectly. The building is very old and a bit wonky, and there’s no lift, but being on the top floor gave me a good workout and the quirks add to the charm.

The location is great, with excellent food at Thai orchid next door and good cocktails at The Abbey. The hotel itself was really poor, very tired and in need of a major renovation. The bed was uncomfortable, paint was peeling off the walls and some plugs didn’t work. There was a phone number for out-of-hours questions, but nobody answered. I had the worst night’s sleep I’ve ever had in a hotel, to the point that we considered leaving in the middle of the night. I didn’t feel safe staying there.

Battle itself was wonderful, and we had a great night out. But once we realised we had to return to the hotel, our hearts sank. The only positive was that the man on reception seemed pleasant. The winding, crooked staircase was terribly stained and looked completely unloved. We went up hoping the hotel inspector off the telly had at least fixed up our room, but Alex definitely hadn’t. The curtains didn’t fit the window, the furniture looked like it came from a boot sale, and there were two big holes in the bathroom. We couldn’t see anything through them, so they were just an eyesore. The window wouldn’t open wide enough to let in fresh air, which the room badly needed, or to let us throw ourselves out. My boyfriend felt every spring in the mattress and shed a tear. His tear had better water pressure than the shower, and was warmer too. We played a game of guessing what the stains on the bed were, but afterwards we felt quite sick. I wish I’d drunk more before we climbed those stairs. We decided to try to sleep just to get to the next day and leave. The only person I’d recommend this hotel to is the health inspector.