Courtyard By Marriott London Heathrow Airport

The staff were lovely, genuinely friendly and sympathetic, and clearly familiar with apologizing about the shuttle. The room was fine for someone of average build, but the twin beds just didn’t work for me. I’m not a small man, and together they felt like an SUV squeezed into a compact parking space. The reason you book an airport hotel is to get to the airport, especially with a 5 a.m. flight. The shuttle is the whole point, yet we stood there with our bags waiting for one I never actually saw. It’s like Loch Ness or Bigfoot, people swear it’s real. The carpets and ambiance don’t make up for that. One star. Please fix the shuttle, and at least take the taxi fare off our stay.

There’s a mini shop by reception for drinks and snacks, and breakfast is standard but perfectly good. The room and bathroom are spacious, with basic amenities and a kettle for tea or coffee. The hotel seems to have had a recent refurb, and it’s not bad at all. The main downside is the runway noise. The hotel is right next to a runway and, apparently, there’s very little noise cancelling. When it’s being used for takeoffs, planes leave about every three minutes until roughly 21:30. Bring earplugs if that bothers you. A hotel hint: earplugs would be a very suitable amenity.

Loved the views of the planes, and it was an easy walk to the bus stop for the Heathrow central bus station, with tap and go. The room was comfortable and well equipped. Front desk and restaurant staff were friendly and efficient. The Indian restaurant also had lots of vegetarian choices, and they all seemed pretty authentic.

The beds were really comfortable, and I loved the huge TV that let me cast apps. The rooms themselves were OK, though the floors creaked with every step. They were bare, with no decor, and the bathroom mirror had no lights, or they were broken. The hotel felt dreary and badly located. All the gates and fences were locked, so getting in or out meant going right around the place. Staff weren’t warm either. No gold member welcome, upgrade, or offer of a 2 p.m. checkout. The mobile key failed, so I had to go back to reception for a replacement. Nobody seemed to have the energy to help, and it left me feeling like the staff weren’t paid well. Marriotts have mostly been a miss for me lately, and this one really didn’t meet the mark.