The Stromness Hotel

The restaurant had been closed a week before I arrived, and nobody let me know. Given how unclean the place was, that may have been for the best. I’ve never stayed in a hotel this filthy. If this hadn’t been a one-night work trip, I’d have left straight away. The stromness hotel felt like a cold, dirty, abandoned building. There were stains wherever I looked, and wallpaper was peeling with white and yellow patches. Please look at the attached photos before booking. The owner, payman investments, says on its website that the hotel has impressive turnover and is profitable, so it’s shocking that basic improvements haven’t been made.

The staff were very nice, but dinner was a big disappointment. We ordered garlic bread, chicken popcorn with chips, and mussels. The last three items arrived cold, and the chicken tasted stale, was really chewy, and couldn’t be eaten. The garlic bread had no garlic on it, just melted butter and herbs dropped onto some nice bread. We were only the second couple to arrive, yet waited an hour for the food.

The location was excellent, just a short walk from the bus and ferry travel centre, and the bed and mattress were very comfortable. I stayed two nights at The Stromness Hotel and was seriously charmed by it. It’s clearly very old and has had work done; it’ll probably need more nudging along for years. You do need to be comfortable with stairs, though I heard an older couple had asked and been moved to a lower floor. I noticed no smells on the top floor or on all those stairs, despite what earlier reviews said. Breakfast was fine. I got the best seat by the big harbour window both mornings, which was a treat. I also had dinner there one night, since the restaurant was closed the other night. I suspect having a chef available may be an issue. The salmon portion was very generous, the veg hearty, and the sticky pudding tasty. Everyone on staff was incredibly friendly, and took my report about the faulty room door lock in an easygoing “ah yes, I’ll add it to the list” way. Could the shower suddenly go from freezing to scalding? Yes. But the water pressure was excellent, so I just danced out of the way until it got back to the right temperature. I hope the owners manage to coax the place toward modernity. If you’re easygoing and can enjoy some quirks, I think you’d be as tickled by it as I was. If I lived locally, I’d pop in for dinner whenever I could. Sadly, I’m heading back to the other side of the globe.

The village had a lovely buzz when we arrived during the folk festival. A Scottish highland band with pipers was playing outside the hotel, so we got a rousing welcome! It’s a quaint fishing village, and people were friendly wherever we went. The hotel was very good. We had two great meals there, and breakfast was really good too. The young staff were friendly and worked hard.