Alexander House Hotel & Utopia Spa

The spa treatment was the worst part for me. I booked an hour-long massage but got only 40 minutes, and the room was so cold I couldn't stop sneezing afterward. The sheet in the treatment room also looked dirty in the picture. They expected me to lie on that? The restaurant was just as disappointing: I ordered cod and got trout, and there were waits of around 20 minutes between courses. The hotel feels like three stars at best. The property and facilities are dated, with some things no longer working, and the décor is tacky. My room felt more like a university dorm than a hotel room. Prices are wildly high for this kind of quality. I'm happy to pay for good service, but this experience was substandard and disappointing.

The setting is lovely, and the drive through the quaint village was a nice start to my three-day, two-night stay at Alexander House. I stayed in the Eucalyptus suite, which looks out over the green landscape. It's in the modern part of the building, so I did miss some of the historic character the rooms on the other side seem to have. Samuel and two lovely reception staff members whose names I can't remember made me feel welcome, and the restaurant staff at both dinner and breakfast were wonderful. Katie was a pleasure during my Utopia Spa treatment, which I'd recommend. Dinner was nice too, especially the apple crumble. A few things brought the stay down a little. The gym is pretty basic, and the gym and studio ceilings were leaking quite a bit while I was there. As a light sleeper, I could hear people chatting in the corridor by my room, including housekeeping in the morning. The bathroom was nice, but the towel warmer didn't come on, and the room was a bit cold with no way to turn up the heat. Breakfast was disappointing on both mornings: the vegetarian full English on the first day and the omelette on the second were too oily for me, though there was a good selection of continental options. The hotel is well located for Wakehurst and Hever Castle, and for walks or cycling in the countryside.

The service was really good, and I'd come back for the rooms and spa. I found the bed very comfortable, and even the least expensive rooms are spacious, a good temperature, and have lovely bathrooms. There was plenty of tea, biscuits, and coffee making supplies too. The spa had genuinely hot pools, a sauna, and a great range of treatments. I could happily spend all day in the relaxation room. I'd probably choose a package, though, since I personally wouldn't pay 100-150 just for a massage. The food was OK. Sunday's roast didn't exceed my expectations, but at 45 for three courses and drinks, I can't complain too much. Breakfast was included and the buffet was decent. My eggs Benedict was a little disappointing: the egg needed another 45secs-1 minute, and the hollandaise was too vinegary for my taste.

Six hours at the spa definitely wasn't enough for us! My mum and I had a great first visit to a spa hotel, with a spa day and treatment. The staff were lovely and patient with us, and the service was great. I totally recommend the Oskia Luxury Face and body ritual, which Mum found really relaxing. The rooms and facilities were all good for us. Food was the one thing we weren't too keen on, and we wished there were better options. 4/5!