Sportsman Motel Hotel in Simmesport

I call this place the ratchet resort. The bed cover had a huge burn hole right in the middle, and all the smoke detectors were missing. I’m guessing the high-class residents don’t want them going off with all the marijuana being smoked. It was the nastiest place I’ve ever stayed, easily 10 times worse than the worst hotel in my hometown. After lying in that bed, I feel like I need some kind of shot so I don’t catch anything.

We got up around 7 AM, and when my sister wet a washcloth, it turned brown from the stains. There was an air freshener stuck in the AC vent, apparently to distract from the smell, and my sister even found a bug crawling in her bed. We’d arrived around midnight to visit family in Simmesport and were too exhausted to keep driving to Marksville, so we stayed. We slept fully dressed, shoes and all, using blankets from the car to lie on. The bathroom had no lights, though we wouldn’t have sat on the toilet even if someone paid us. Next time I’d rather sleep in my car.

The store has plenty of liquor, beer, cigars, and cigarettes, but it’s tremendously overcrowded. They also offer motel rooms, though I’m not sure what kind of shape they’re in.

There were roaches in the tub and fridge, and no soap to bathe with. They clearly don’t care about customer service. From my experience working at places that had to pass inspections, if inspectors showed up right now, this place would be shut down. If you have any standards at all, don’t go here.