Hotel Hesse

The room was tiny, and dust was left under the bed, around the TV and kettle, and along the baseboards. When I raised it, the cleaning staff got furious and cleaned as though the room were a war zone. A few minutes later I found the TV and upper surfaces still hadn't been cleaned. I stayed from June 4th to June 5th, having swapped an apartment for a hotel room. I came away with the impression that the hotel manager had personally robbed me. I have recordings and intend to take this to court. If cleanliness matters to you, I wouldn't stay here. I visited a few months ago and was genuinely surprised by how beautiful and clean the hotel seemed at first. The rest of my experience didn't match that impression.

The location looked promising, especially for the price, but the hotel was run-down and felt like it was trying to squeeze every last penny from guests. Even at €80 a night, I'd choose somewhere else. Breakfast was an outrage. I had to check five cups before finding a clean one. The coffee was bad, and the other food came in cheap packaging and was presented without care. Neither the breakfast nor the rooms were worth the money.

The shower in my room in the Hesse house was moldy, and the room was dusty and grimy. Above the bed there was a cobweb, and the room smelled old and dusty. On the balcony, previous guests had left a potato soup container with a cigarette butt in it. The cleaning staff apparently kept missing it, and they didn't even lock the door after their work. Some rooms hadn't been cleaned when our large group arrived for a long weekend. The rooms generally felt outdated, too. The hotel is run by the Hesse family, who seem to have gone blind. At 90 euros a night, this is outrageous.

We booked several rooms, so I got to compare a few experiences. Mine seemed to be the best: it was tidy, though not clean. The bed was clean, but there were crumbs and sand from the previous guest in the carpet, and the small bathroom tiles hadn't been mopped. The fixtures and toilet bowl had been cleaned. My mattresses seemed quite new and were comfortable, unlike the others, whose mattresses were completely worn out. There was no complimentary water, minibar, or safe, though the room did have two glasses and a bottle opener. The hotel consists of several buildings from different periods, so it seems you have to get lucky with your room for quality, cleanliness, and accessibility. The rooms range from old to mid-range in style, and the furniture seems overdue for investment. The clientele is varied, from retirees to tradespeople and families. It has a hostel atmosphere, and I've stayed in better hostels. Breakfast was in the reception building, with the kitchen right next door. Service gets four stars only because staff were quick to replenish things. The selection was extremely limited: three kinds of cheese, ham, something like salami, butter, margarine, sweet spreads in plastic packets, scrambled and boiled eggs, meat salad, unsweetened yogurt, chocolate muesli, and other frozen snacks with chocolate chips. The bread and rolls were so sticky and tough that knives struggled to cut them, so we ended up tearing them. There was multivitamin juice, orange juice, cold water, hot water for tea, and coffee, but only strong coffee in not-so-clean thermos flasks. I also picked up a teaspoon with parsley or something similar still stuck to it from the day before. Would I stay again? Probably not. Even though Blankenese has no cheaper option, the nightly price was more than steep, it was simply too much for what we got.