Benalmadena playa!!!

I checked in on Xmas day for four nights, but left the next morning. The towels were filthy, and there was hair from previous guests all over the room. The rooms were so dirty that I washed the floor myself and slept on it in my clothes because the bed was disgraceful. Breakfast was just a selection of dried-out processed meat. Avoid this place at all costs.

The pool stairs shown in the listing were one of the main reasons we booked. My wife struggles with ladders when getting in and out of the pool, but the pictures showed proper steps. That was misleading. We stayed 12 days, and nobody swept or cleaned the patio once, even though it gets plenty of sun. The pool wasn't cleaned during our stay either. The shower was tiny, with scum around it and a curtain held up by thread. This was a learning curve, and we won't stay here again.

The hotel was extremely dirty, with the smell of urine everywhere. They advertised a swimming pool, but it was dirty and closed. Breakfast was just cheese and eggs, and we had to wait half an hour to get two fried eggs. Management offered no help with our complaint or in finding a solution. The whole stay was a flop and ruined our vacation. I absolutely wouldn't recommend it.

The wake-up call from armed police was the final surprise in what felt like a survival holiday. Our room also came with ants and a toilet that simply wouldn't work. The pool was so green it looked like an ecosystem, and I’m pretty sure a new species was developing in it. There was black mould inside the cupboards, while cleaning seemed to move dirt around instead of removing it. Construction noise carried on every day, with a chop saw and the odd crash. The garden had discarded sinks arranged like avant-garde sculptures. All the thrills of an adventure trip. We’ll definitely be back.