Cortijo Los Naranjos de San Juan

The pool was cold and there were no pool towels. Towels in the room felt like coarse sandpaper, and the bathroom had ants; the bath was unsealed and looked very tired. The TV was the smallest I've seen, smaller than the one in our caravan. Other guests we spoke with seemed to feel much the same. Breakfast was a joke: a little ham and salami, bread that looked as if it had merely glanced at a toaster, stale-looking croissants in bags, plastic cheese, and no breakfast tea, just herbal bags with lukewarm water. There was no bar, restaurant or in-room facilities like a fridge or tea and coffee maker. The air conditioning was so noisy and the bed so hard that we changed rooms for a slightly quieter unit, but the bed was just as hard. Our first room was among the most expensive, so I pity whoever gets the cheapest. The hotel is about 5 km from the nearest town, which is an absolute dump with nowhere decent to eat. If I could give zero stars, I would. This is easily the worst hotel I've stayed in. Fawlty Towers would seem like The Ritz by comparison. You've been warned!

The room was very dark, with three broken lights, and there weren't enough power sockets by the bed. There was a phone in the room but no number for reception, and no one at the front desk. No bar or restaurant either. The amenities were just two combs, bath soaps and a shoe shinecloth. The towels felt like sandpaper. Our door wouldn't shut properly. Each time, it took several minutes and a lucky shot to lock it, and housekeeping left it unlocked after cleaning. I told Antonio, the person in charge, about the broken lock on day one, but nothing changed. On the third day, the door wouldn't open at all, and nobody at the hotel could help, so we had to call Antonio to let us into our own room. We waited 20 minutes while trying to shower and get ready for a dinner party. The TV didn't work either, and reporting that also got no response. The pool was nasty, the poolbeds seemed like they could give you a fungal disease, and the "garden" was distasteful. The four jacuzzis in two gazebos, in about 70°C air temperature, seemed to be there just to get an extra star rating, I suppose. The surrounding area felt deserted and weird; nothing suggested the hotel was run with love. Breakfast was depressing. Some staff were there, but gave me a weird vibe. The "orange juice" tasted fake, like lysomucil, the yoghurt was lukewarm, and the ham and cheese sat unrefrigerated while disgusting flies got on the food. The "croissants" and other viennoiseries were awful, prewrapped in plastic bags. €360 for three nights is an insult. This hotel makes me sad, mad and confused. I hope someone shuts it down soon so nobody else has to go through such a terrible experience. What a nightmare!

I was here with friends for a nearby wedding and it was perfect for us. The place was spacious, comfortable, very clean and had everything we needed. Antonio arranged so much for us and was really helpful and accommodating.

The rooms were spacious and very comfortable, with friendly staff and lovely hacienda-style decor. Finding the place was a little complicated, and it's somewhat secluded and out of the way. Still, the rates are affordable and I'd recommend it.