Guacimeta Apartamentos

We spent five nights here during a 12-night holiday, and the apartment experience has sadly affected my love for mata gorda. I’ve stayed on the island many times, but this was the worst environment I’ve had the misfortune to stay in. This was not cheap and cheerful. We were in a lower-floor apartment facing the road last January. Apparently, the one we got was owned by the complex president. The mattress was poor, with springs coming through. It was replaced with a second-hand one that had the same problem. The bedroom had one curtain for the whole window, hidden dirt everywhere, and black mold and damp. We had to mop the floors ourselves when we arrived. The sofa bed in the sitting room was so dilapidated that even the apartment owner refused to sit on it. We paid for the nights we stayed and also a forty euro cleaning bill, though it’s hard to see what that was for. My face-to-face dealings with the person who owns the apartment only made the stay worse. I’ve read reviews from people who had wonderful holidays in fantastic apartments here, but this was not one I’d choose or recommend. I’d happily take away the one star if I could.

The rooms were clean and tidy, the bed was comfy, and the sofa was surprisingly comfortable too. Staff were very friendly, especially the dining area guys. Food was good, though if you like it hot, get there early. There’s bike hire at reception, plus a little shop that’s handy if you have no other option, though it’s a bit expensive. Coffee machine and fruit juice are there too. Hairdryer, towels and toiletries were provided, but there wasn’t enough shower gel or shampoo for a week. It was peaceful and quiet, good for a couple’s break, and amazing value. There weren’t enough beds around the pool and it isn’t heated. The woman at reception had no customer service skills, and at checkout there wasn’t even a thank you or hope to see you again. Even so, I’d recommend the hotel. I’ve paid more to stay in worse places.

The staff were nice and the place was clean. That’s about all I can say in its favour. The apartment was very basic, with only single beds, and the bed linen honestly looked like it came from a hospital. We booked all-inclusive, but it was a joke. Drinks came in really small plastic cups and were basic, poor quality drinks. The food was the biggest letdown: poor quality, little choice, and we couldn’t eat it, so we had to eat out the whole time. A big waste of money. This is the worst apartment I’ve stayed in, and I’ll never be back.

The apartments are fairly clean and looked after, but we only got maid service on one of our five days. If you’re expecting a good all-inclusive experience, the food and spirits choices are very limited. Get to the dining room early if you want dessert. More than once, they’d run out. Adel, the waiter and barman, was a real bright spot and couldn’t do enough for us. He’s extremely good at his job. Reception was the downside: the receptionist needs training in customer care and timekeeping, and in keeping reception open during its stated hours.