Elba Costa Ballena Beach & Thalasso Resort

The kids’ club and entertainment were a real hit, and our daughter had a great time. We needed a little while to get used to the Spanish way of doing things, but once the kids got the hang of siesta, it all worked out. Food, drinks, and pool were good, and the hotel is right by the beach. It’s around a 40-minute round trip to the shop. Taxis make it easy to get to Chipinoa and Rota, where you can catch a catamaran to Cadiz.

The views from our room were lovely, the bathroom was clean and in good shape, and reception did help with our requests. Getting around was easy enough: bikes can be rented at reception for cash, Bird scooters are nearby, and the closest shop is a 10-minute bike ride or a 20-minute walk. There’s a fridge in the room and you can ask for a kettle. Sun loungers by the pool were always available, probably because pool towels cost extra and people don’t leave them unattended. Food was acceptable, though nothing special. Queues were a recurring problem, from check-in to the omelet and fried egg stations at breakfast. Buffet staff seemed grumpy and unwelcoming, and breakfast could get chaotic. Night shows had poor acoustics and not enough seating. Children’s concerts started at 22:30 and went until midnight, which really disrupts sleep for younger guests. The beds were uncomfortable, with flimsy frames and squeaky mattresses. There’s no beach service, so no loungers, umbrellas, or towels are provided. Pool towels need a €15 deposit, and the room safe costs €2 per day. Drink choices are very limited and everything costs extra: if you don’t drink wine, it’s beer, two juices, sangria, or water, the same options every day. The language barrier was a constant issue. Most buffet staff speak little English, and almost all signs, schedules, and instructions are only in Spanish, so expect to use Google Translate often. The kids’ club is also Spanish-only, which leaves international children unable to take part. There was no entertainment aimed at adults, which may suit some guests but not others. The beach has a somewhat wild feel that might not work for families with small children. It’s a decent hotel with good views and some practical amenities, but the queues, weak service, and limited effort to welcome international guests let it down. Staff training and more thought for non-Spanish-speaking visitors and families would help.

The beds were especially comfortable, and the restaurant served good food with a range of choices at each meal. Breakfast was filling and had plenty on offer. The adult and children’s areas were clearly separated, though staff sometimes let children into the adults-only pool without enforcing the rules. The bathtubs weren’t very practical. The glass screen didn’t stop water from getting onto the floor, making showers a bit awkward. With full board, I’d also expect at least one basic drink per person with meals. Including no drinks at all doesn’t fit what I’d expect from full board.

The room was lovely and comfortable, and we could step straight from our private patio to the pool. The pools were enjoyable, with a bar at the family pool serving nice drinks. The spa had a good mix for families and couples, including a warm pool, hot tub, sauna, and hammam. My wife and I were especially impressed by the amazing massage, and the staff were very professional. Breakfast and lunch were good, but dinner was atrociously bad. The desserts were much better at lunch than at dinner, though still not great. With the good room, staff, and spa balanced against dinner, I’d rate the hotel and spa 8.5/10.