The Fair Green Hotel

The room was lovely, and the bar downstairs had a nice atmosphere. We were made to feel welcome, the prices were good, and breakfast was good too. I really enjoyed my stay.

We really enjoyed the food, and everyone was pleasant and welcoming. The only awkward bit was having to go through to the pub side whenever we wanted a drink.

There was nobody around to answer questions when I arrived, so I had to collect the keys from an outside safe and follow the directions in my booking confirmation. The place looks nice from outside, but the room felt cold and uninviting. It did have carpet, unlike where I'd stayed the night before, and the tea and coffee supplies were adequate and helped me warm up. The radiator was too small to heat the room properly, though it eventually got warmer. My work van was warmer than the room. I was glad I'd packed pyjamas just in case. The bathroom was freezing, and its towel radiator didn't work. The shower was blisteringly hot, and after struggling with the inadequate controls I managed to get it down to 45 degrees and keep my skin intact. I thought a spare blanket might help when the heating went off in the early hours, but it had dark red stains on it and smelled like menstrual blood. I know that smell from my time as an ex squaddy. I put it back quickly and showed it to my colleague to confirm what I thought, because it sounds far-fetched. I wouldn't make something like that up, and I don't take it lightly. There was no WiFi, despite it being described as free. I tried to connect on both my phone and tablet without success. Noise was another problem. From about 1am, people kept coming and going, slamming doors, shouting, and singing in the corridor. Someone was singing again around 4am. I was so tired I misread my watch and thought it was 5, but my colleague said it was earlier. I had to get up for work at 6, and if I hadn't been trying to stay warm, I would have gone out to tell him to shut the f**k up. At 7:20, my colleague knocked on my door to show me what looked like the singing man, drunk or drugged, lying in the corridor and staggering about while still trying to sing. We got out of there quickly. A bad day in Beirut would've been better than staying here. I won't recommend this place to anyone. I've stayed in some s**t holes, but this takes the biscuit. If I could give it zero stars, I would.

The room was comfortable, with an ensuite bathroom and towels provided, and we couldn't hear any noise from the bar. The staff were consistently friendly and polite, and gave us a very warm welcome. I don't drink, so the bar wasn't really my thing. Still, it's a great place to stay if you're planning a trip away.